Reflections on What Must be

My youngest Angel got ahold of my camera and decided to take some pictures on her own the other day.  I must have reprimanded her several times about not wanting to have my picture taken because I wasn't wearing any make-up, my hair was a mess, blah, blah, blah.  And then I stopped.  I stopped because I remembered that none of that truly matters.  I stopped because I remembered that turn-around is fair play and I certainly take enough pictures of my children when they protest.  I stopped because I got close enough to my husband to feel drawn into him and what we must deal with as a constant and solid team.
We are on the precipice of making some very important, life-altering decisions right now.  Decisions I never even dreamed that I might someday have to make.  Decisions that require the right amount of strength, patience and solidarity.  Decisions that fill me with equal amounts of fear and steadfastness.
But I have never been one to back down from what I know is right.  And Mark has always believed in justice.  And we have always taught our Angels to stand up for what they believe even when the journey upon which they are about to embark is something that might change the course of their lives as they have known them.
Looking back on these pictures, I no longer see a moment when I was worried about how I looked on the outside.  I see a moment captured by our youngest Angel as we walked along the beach.  I see a moment of unsureness mixed with resolution.  I see a moment of solidarity which assures me that everything will be okay in the end as long as we stick together as a team.  As long as we stick together as a family of six.

Yesterday, someone asked me if there was anything, anything at all that I wouldn't do for one of my children.  Without a second thought, my answer was an absolute no.  Now I must apply that same answer to a situation which is only one step further out, but just as close to my heart.  I must put my money where my mouth is, so to speak.  And as I ask myself why?  Why bother, why put myself and my family through this?  Why not turn a blind eye and just go about my own life?  Screw 'em.  The answer comes crashing hard into my heart and mind.  Love.  Devotion.  And being able to look at myself in the mirror whether I have make-up on or not.

Now those are some thoughts that are worth holding onto, long after the photos will be forgotten.