Suspension and The Days of Awe

This photo was taken on Monday.

It is a sensation much like what it must feel like to be floating, these days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.  It is a strange feeling and yet, not totally unexpected.  It is a feeling of being suspended in time.  It is the sensation of waiting, expectantly, for things to pass and although I do not really believe that God has an enormous book in the sky in which he actually transcribes names for another year, metaphorically, the idea strikes me in my soul.  On Rosh Hashanah, the rabbi spoke of The Book of Life.  He spoke of the three "lists" which it is said that God keeps, one for the righteous whose names are automatically transcribed into The Book for another year.  These are the ones who have done only good without any transgression, the very few and far between.  I imagine this list to be quite short in my mind's eye.  The second list is for the wicked.  This list consists of individuals who have done so much harm to their fellow man that they are immediately removed from The Book of Life.  This is the list that I do wish existed.  The third book is for the intermediate.  This is where I know that I belong.  This is the list that contains the names of those of us who try to live our lives in good and honest ways but who do, inadvertently, sometimes miss the mark.  This is the list which contains the names of those of us who are doing our best to learn, to grow and to improve, year after year and, by God's will, will be inscribed into The Book for another year. This is the list of suspension in time.  During the days in between Rosh Hashanah(The New Year) and Yom Kippur(The Day of Atonement), it is our responsibility to evaluate our own behavior, to make amends with anyone we have hurt and to ask for forgiveness from others and from God.  These are days of repentance and prayer.  On Saturday, Jewish people all over the world will observe Yom Kippur.  This is the holiest day of the year for us.  It is the day when it is said that we are closest to God and to the quintessence of our own souls.  This is the day on which we pray that God will accept our prayers for forgiveness and inscribe us in The Book of Life for another year.  This is the day that we admit out loud and to ourselves that we are less than perfect but that we will try harder in the year to come.  And although Yom Kippur is a very somber day, it is also sufficed with joy because it is the day that we come together as a community to pray for God's forgiveness.  Even Jews who do not typically practice or attend synagogue will attend on Yom Kippur.  Why not hedge your bets?

The week down here in beautiful San Clemente, CA began with a mixture of sunshine and clouds.  

This photo was taken on Tuesday.

But slowly, the skies became darker and the clouds became heavier until something very unusual happened.

This photo was taken yesterday.

We got a significant October rain storm.  Now for those of you that live in other parts of the country and even other parts of the world, rain is not an unusual event, but for us, it just does not rain in Southern California as the song says.  This unexpected storm added to my feeling of being suspended in time.  It gave me time to think and to pray and to read meaningful literature.  It gave me time to consider and after it was over, I felt another sensation...The sensation of being cleansed.

May I take this opportunity to ask forgiveness of anyone whom I may have hurt over the course of the past year.  May I find forgiveness in my heart for those who have hurt me, either intentionally or inadvertently, and may I find a way to leave this hurt behind.  But most of all, may God inscribe you, your family members and friends into The Book of Life for another good year.  All of you.

Amen.

With many blessings and so much love,
Debbie-Four Angels Momma

May You be Inscribed in The Book of Life 5772

Sometimes, even the cat feels like he can just stick his tongue out at me.  I mean, just like everyone else, he loves and adores me but hey, I am Momma and if he's having a bad day, I guess I should be, too.

When done correctly, I have found that the moniker "Mother" is synonymous with the words safety, security and comfort.  My husband wants to be able to fix things when a problem arises.  He is definitely the strong and silent type in a lot of ways so with five women surrounding him(and sometimes all at once!), he has to take in a lot of excess chit-chat which probably often hurts his brain.  I can sympathize with that because sometimes it even hurts my brain.  But women, not all but many, like to talk things through.  We like to discuss different angles.  We like to explore various solutions.  We enjoy the interaction and oftentimes, that is what it takes for us to arrive at a resolution. Men, not so much.  So here I stand.  Unlike my husband, I know that I cannot really just fix anything and move on.  Long after he is off the topic with one or more of our Angel Daughters, I am still trying to maneuver them into a positive direction that will both make them feel better and produce superlative results.  Neither way is absolutely right or wrong, it just is.  I am not, however, a magician.  A goddess, maybe, but...Well that is not what I am writing about right now so I will just move along.  Just take my word for it, it will make me feel special.  The goddess part, anyway.

I have spent a good portion of today dousing fires and wiping tears from my daughters cheeks.  And a few minutes ago at exactly 6:39 PM, the sun, which never really shone itself down here on the edge of the Pacific ocean today, went down for the last time on the Jewish year of 5771.  For Jews all over the world, another year has just passed and ten days of awe will now be observed.  Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year which begins as a celebration and then culminates after ten days with the observance of Yom Kippur.  Yom Kippur is a somber, serious day because it is a time of self-reflection and atonement.  It is a day when we ask God to forgive our transgressions and to guide us into being better people next year.(simply put)  The time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is known as "the days of awe".  These days are used for self-evaluation, reflection and prayer.  On Rosh Hashanah, we ask that God inscribe us into the Book of Life for another year.  On Yom Kippur, it is sealed.  I suppose that the cloudy day today was appropriate for the misty moods which I encountered but during these next ten days, I am going to focus on growth and redemption and healing for all of us and when I say "all of us" I mean myself, my family and all of my wonderful friends, both Jewish and otherwise.  The new year is a time for transition and transformation, much like the season of autumn, so what better time to contemplate the things that we can do better, for others, for ourselves and for the world.  The September mist which blanketed much of the Southern California coast today reminded me that my daughters pains and concerns and fears are very, very real and that it is their father's job to protect them and to try to fix what ails them.  But it is my job, as their momma, to walk them gently but firmly back into the light, allowing them the time and consideration that they might need to get there.  A perfect combination.  A band-aide and a time to allow for healing.

I will write more about these "days of awe" throughout the next ten days and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.  I know this might all seem a bit mystic and confusing to someone who is not Jewish, but trust me, it's really not.  Tomorrow, Mark, myself and our four Angel Daughters will spend part of our day in synagogue celebrating the New Year.  We will pray, we will sing, and we will hear the blast of the shofar as we welcome in the New Year of 5772.  I look forward to this outward expression of gratitude to God before turning inward to evaluate myself.  L'shana tova(which means "for a good year" in Hebrew) to all of my Jewish readers and friends.  To everyone else, I wish you good health, happiness and so much love because we can never receive enough in the way of blessings from those who care about us.

With so much love,
Debbie

May You Be Inscribed and Sealed For a Good Year-And a Blessing For All

As I sit here contemplating these words, Jewish people all over the world are preparing for the days of awe, ten days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kipppur in which we reflect upon the year that has passed.  This is a time for reflection.  A time to ruminate.  A time to pull out our proverbial "scorecard" and to be honest with ourselves and God about the things we could have done better, the hurt that we might have purposely or inadvertently caused others, and most importantly, what we can do to repair our relationships with each other and the world.  On Rosh Hashanah, we celebrate the new year.  We attend synagogue.  We pray, and we spend time with family and friends.  Apples and honey are often eaten as a symbolic way of hoping for a sweet New Year.  It is a time of celebration.  Ten days later, on Yom Kippur, we fast, we attend synagogue, we pray that God will forgive us our wrongs and we pray that we will be inscribed in The Book of Life for another year.  Yom Kippur is also known as "the day of atonement".  It is a very serious day on which we are required to make repairs and right wrongs.  On Rosh Hashanah it is written, on Yom Kippur it is sealed.  It is a hugely meaningful time for Jewish people.  For us, these are the most important days of the year.  Even Jews who are not religious usually attend temple, as well as observe the meaning of these days.

As we head into these days of awe, I was reminded of this little prayer book that my husband received anonymously in the mail several months ago.  There was no note, no inscription and no return address on the package.  Only this small silver bible and nothing else.  I had never seen this type of a prayer book before, so I looked it up online to see if I could trace its origins.  I found that these bibles were produced in the early sixties, but not much else.  A true mystery.  And as much as this bothered me, my dear husband was satisfied with the idea that someone sent this to him anonymously and that whoever it was wanted to keep it that way.  It is definitely old.  It has that musty odor which only comes with time.  The pages are clear and mostly unmarred, although the plastic box that it came in carried the scratches from a lifetime of use.

Twenty-six years ago tonight, I was going over the details of a lacy, long white gown covered in tiny pearls.  I was absorbed in the particulars of a day which seemed as if it would be the most important day of my life.  I was laying out jewelry, traipsing around the house in pajamas and high-heeled shoes to break them in, and smiling.  Yes, I was definitely smiling.  For the next day, on September 9, 1984, I was getting married at the age of twenty-two years old.

And what I did not know at the time, but I do know now, is that I would be marrying a man who could receive an antique silver bible in the mail, not really concerning himself too much about the origins of this mysterious gift.  I, on the other hand, like to solve the riddle.  While I contemplate, he accepts.  While I analyze, he concedes.  While I delve in, he hangs back waiting patiently to find out whether or not I will need his back-up.  And if I need him to back me up, well then it is definitely time to get out of the way!

Looking back over the past twenty-six plus years, I have come to the realization that Mark is my perfect fit, and I am his.  We have grown up together.  We have transformed one another.  We have created an impeccable fit.  My head fits perfectly into the crux between his neck and collarbone when we hug.  I would know the rhythm of his heartbeat anywhere.  We often think the same thoughts and say the same words at the same time.  September 9, 1984 was only one of the best days of my life.  One of many.  Oh so many.

Happy Anniversary, my love.  The ying to my yang.  The cookie to my milk.  The other half of my heart.  And there is no riddle as to why someone would want to pass along their prayer book to you, anonymously or not.  Because you are that kind of man.  Humble and kind and a true mensch.

In your eyes...

And to all who honor me by stopping by and taking the time to spend a moment or two in my little corner of the world, whether Jewish or not, I pray for your health.  I pray for your joy.  I pray for your wellness.  L'Shana Tovah-For a Good Year.

PS-And yes, it is very appropriate to say Happy Rosh Hashanah or Happy New Year to your Jewish friends.  Thank you for asking, Kim-D, dear one:)  On Yom Kippur, an appropriate sentiment would be to say, "May you be sealed."