Friday, December 30, 2011

Come Walk With Me

Each day, I am treated to several ever changing views of the San Clemente Pier but mostly from a couple of nautical miles away from my front yard.  The view is spectacular.  Yesterday, I had the sudden urge to change perspectives(a possible sign of things to come?) so I called Mark and invited him to take a stroll with me down on the pier.  The sun was still fairly high in the sky when we arrived and the well worn, sea-beaten wooden slats below our feet were pulsating with the vibrations of life being lived.  It felt so good to be out in the open air.
It felt good to be among a random group of people in which everyone seemed calm.  No set agenda, no pressure to maneuver beyond the ultimate speed of light and sound, only some moments spent doing nothing more than taking in a day that was much too beautiful to miss.  Lord knows how much I have craved this pace.  December took its toll on me.  It always does.  Repetitive music everywhere makes it very difficult to focus on anything other than jumpy rhythms and musical arrangements on speed.  For me, it is all overstimulation to the max.  To a body that is chronically riddled with pain, it is far too much to metabolize.  I spent a good portion of the month hibernating and staving off situational depression.  There are times when it is all too much and the very best thing that I can do is to be honest with myself and hide...
But yesterday was about reconnecting with the world in a more peaceful and tolerable way.  It was about taking on a reasonable pace.  It was about absorbing a different kind of energy.  It was about quieting the hermit-crab inside of my body(I am a Cancer baby, born in July when the world seems to be at its most relaxed) while sticking my head out of my shell to peek around and signal that it is really okay to come out.
And what better place to free myself from my self-imposed hibernation than the place that has become more home to me than anyplace else I have ever known in my entire life.  A place in which animal, fish, bird, and human can coexist most peacefully in unison with one another because we are all living by the rhythm of the sea.  A place that has beckoned to me from as far back as I can remember, only I could not make out the exact name of it until recently.  A place that will soon become our permanent home because I never want to be far away from here.  Yes, I am New York city born and raised and if you listen carefully and are very good with picking up dialects, you will quickly realize that I am a transplant.
But sometimes, the soul can lead you on a long and somewhat winding journey to your home.  And when you finally arrive there, you just know it.  You just know it.


May the coming year bring you closer to home and if you are already there, may it bring you even closer to your home.


7 comments:

Renee said...

Beautiful pictures, Deb. Beautiful post. I agree the month of Dec. is frantic, hyped, and just too intense at times. Our family gathered and by the third day you could see them winding down with what we call holiday hangover and that is NOT from alcohol!
I love what you said about your home and finding a place that you just KNOW it is where you belong. Joel and I have been praying for that for a long time. We have lived so many places, but don't have one where we feel called to nest and stay and with retirement around the corner we would like that....So glad you found yours friend...I think it is beautiful, but then so are you. Wishing you a beautiful and pain free 2012.

Angella Lister said...

dear deb, such beautiful photographs and such true sentiments. sometimes hiding is the exact right thing to do. i am glad you were taking care of yourself and it's lovely to have you back in this space. we are here, whether you write or not, sending love always.

Kathleen Botsford said...

I am a hermit by nature. My most basic instinct is to hide. Maybe that is why we connect so deeply? And I also know it is not always convenient to do so when you have a house full of family. I am glad you listened to your body and took some time out in December to nurture yourself. I am glad you have found your "home". I am glad you are in my life. Love you, K

Ness said...

I loved your pictures and your future home. We always wanted to have a log cabin in Colorado but I find the ocean beckons me. Love you.

Anonymous said...

Should it not say 31 years on your header. Love you!

deb colarossi said...

I thought I commented here?

Sending so much love , Deb...

from my hopeful heart to yours.

LauraX said...

Oh Deb...such magnificent photos! I feel so much the same about NH...even though I'm not from here...for me it is the trees, the mountains, the bogs, the wildlife...I love it here...when we drive up route 3 and cross the border from MA, I get that sense deep inside that I am home.

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