These are my happy feet, but sadly, they are not feeling all that happy at the moment. I just had an Epidural Steroid injection done in my lower back, and so, very soon there will be 60 milligrams of steroids coursing through my central nervous system. This will wreak havoc on my ordinarily happy moods for the next several weeks. I must explain and apologize all at once. There is always that very fine line between the cure being worse than the ailment, hence the reason it took me quite a while to make the decision to have this injection performed. The previous one allowed me to stand on my feet for more than twenty minutes at a time, without experiencing excessive amounts of pain. I decided it was once again time to take the bullet out from in between my teeth, and allow my doctor to work her magic. Knowing how the steroids will effect me is a benefit, as I won't think that I am losing my mind for no good reason, this time. However, there will be moments, little pockets of time, when my irrational mind will try to convince my rational mind that I am indeed, losing my marbles. Those will be the times when I will have to dig down very deeply into my own psyche, to remind myself that I will once again, be able to find my "happy feet", and that they are not gone forever.Our minds tend to play lots of tricks on us, especially when we are feeling ill. It is up to us to have things within our own "tool boxes" which can trick us back into believing that everything is going to be okay. A few of my favorite distractions are my books, my laptop computer, and my five kitties and our dog. I also love getting hugs from my husband and my angel daughters. Their hugs are one of the greatest cures in the world for me. I love chocolate which my husband supplies me with on a regular basis.(Part of the many reasons he is such a keeper!) I love reading your blogs. I also love reading the wonderful comments that you leave for me here. Your kind words make me smile. They make my happy feet even happier!
I was hoping that you would share some of the things that you keep inside of your "tool boxes", to help you move through the gloomier of moods. What are some of your favorite ways to bring your own feet back from dragging to happy? Please share!
May you always find a reason, even in the midst of sadness or pain, to smile just a little bit. And on those days when your feet are not exactly at their happiest, may you try your hardest to get them dancing, once again.
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20 comments:
Hi Deb - this is exactly what the poem is talking about: the thing that feeds you. For me it's poetry and parenthood, love in all its many forms, chocolate chip ice cream and a long soak in the tub. When times are tough, I find the phone is one of my best tools -- I call people I haven't talked to in a while and hearing about their lives helps take me out of my own. Also creating. Whether it's writing or cooking or scrapbooking, something about engaging the right side of my brain helps. So there are some of my tools.
My wish for you is happiness and peace and pain-free moments. I'll be thinking of you and your happy feet!
I too live with a chronic illness that causes me great pain. Scoliosis. Nice to find a kindred spirit.
Hello my friend...I am so sorry you have to endure this right now, but hopefully you will come out of the tunnel feeling better that you did going in.
I love Irene's comment about calling a friend, what a wonderful idea! I also like to work in my garden, maybe you can go out in your garden for small spurts of time. I love to read, that always helps to get out of your mind and into another world. of course writing also helps alot. I also like to clean...there is something about having my physical world clean that helps me clean my spiritual world.
Please take care my friend, and remember that we are here for you in your dark moments.
Hugs,
Alison
Deb,
I have been wanting to get to my computer all day but it seems like I only had snipits of time. I knew you were going in and you have just been on my heart. You know I am praying for a quick resolve and that the side effects will be minimal. When you feel crazy, you are more than welcome to vent to me...I live my life in crazy most days so we'll just laugh and roll and clutch right through it.
Let's pretend we are neighbors, okay? If I was your neighbor, I would come over in my jammies (I love jammies)and I would bring chocolate. We could lay around and talk or not talk depending on how you feel. I would bark orders at the kitties from you bed, like "Bring us some diamonds!" and "We want a chorus line. Dance kitties, dance!" Then we would laugh because they wouldn't have any idea what I was talking about. And you would feel better because you would see that my irrational mind takes over all the time and that is without injections. We could watch any movie you wanted or I would buy a bunch of celebrity magazines (the kind Big Daddy hates) and we could try to figure out how to help each panty-fearin' celebutante...which then would probably cause our hearts to become heavy because we would know that there is nothing we can do but pray for them. Then, I would confess to you that I do actually pray for celebrities and you would giggle because maybe you sometimes do to(I'm guessing). This routine would go on every night until you got sick of me or realized that I really am crazy and really do wish the kitties would bring us diamonds and sing us a show tune, orrrrr until you felt better...just depends on which happens first. Sadly, and it really does make me sad, we're not neighbors but I will do my best to cheer you up when you need it, encourage you when your feeling blue, and listen when you just want to chat. Don't be afraid to tell me what I can do to make your feet happy because you make me happy and joyful every time I read anything you have written.
Deb, gentle hugs to you, my friend. We will keep you coccooned in prayers, friendship and love during this time. If I can find your email address, I will send you my cell phone number and anytime you need a shoulder to lean on, I'm your girl.
What keeps me going is reading the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, reading inspirational quotes and listening to music. Like you, my husband is my rock and my biggest support system and when my world is caving in, he's there to bolster me up.
Keep on keepin' on, Deb. We're in this together. Gentle hugs, Ness
Awww, Deb, no matter what--you have beautiful, beautiful feet. And such a beautiful way with words. I just stopped by right now to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day, but I will be back in a while to share my arsenal of happy-makers :). For right now, I'll give you a hint: it involves reading the writings of people who have a beautiful way with words :).
I shall return...
As promised, I am back. And hoping for a good day for you! Here are the things that can shake me out of a funk; different funks call for different solutions, so there must be a varied choice :)! Blogging, of course, works. I can write the whole situation out and then get support from my blogger friends which, to me, is so amazing and has made a HUGE difference in my life. Since I started blogging and since making some blogger friends, I've noticed that my unhappy feet days are fewer and farther between--NICE! When I really need to hear a voice, I have a friend that I call, because she usually has such a positive attitude to cheer me up with. And if she's having an off day, too, I get involved with what's going on with her and forget about my own stuff for a while. In fact, getting "out" of myself often helps--reading, concentrating on something or somebody else, or just deciding I'm going to look at whatever has me down differently. And then there are times when SLEEP is what helps! That, and thinking about how fortunate I really am.
But sometimes, I just have to "wallow" for a little while, have a little pity party for myself for a short time, decide it takes too much energy to feel sorry for myself, and move on!
I don't know how helpful any of those things will be...but feel free to try and and/or all of them! HAHA! Oh yeah, and laughing is always good!
Have a nice evening, Deb! :)
...Happy feet? How about happy pants?! lol... Love those britches you're sportin' there Debbie! I must say they only add to all the happiness that you're feet are having! lol... ;o)
...I'm sorry to hear of the impending doom. I wish you could just have the best of both worlds and be pain free and happy too! Actually I wish you didn't have this illness at all - that would so be the icing on the cake! Gosh, sometimes I just wish...(*sigh*)
...What's in my toolbox? Let's see, chickens, three dogs, two cats, needle & thread, lots o' books, lot's o' fabric, a fav' coffee, your blog, a fav' blanket, faith and a journal.
...Debbie, you are always in my thoughts and prayers. For someone I've never met you cross my mind daily and I am so thankful that I have found you! I worry about you and I want you to know that if ever you need to talk, scream, cry, laugh - I'm here. :o)
...Happy Valentine's Day girl! Take care of those happy feet and those happy pants too!
...God bless you... :o)
Deb Dub,
My heart goes out to you! Pain can be SO overwhelming. Yoga helps me when I can do it. My animals are very supportive and always have kind things to say. I read 2-3 books a week so I don't have to look at my oh-so-clean house. 3 blogs keep me content and smiling, including yours of course!
Dearest Friend,
Your feet look darling and your pants say you have some more dancing to do!
A touch of beauty to go with your chocolate can work wonders. Ask your husband to keep a bouquet right by you so you can appreciate them as a special gift from God (and your sweet hubby) to you! (I just wrote an article for CWO for next month on this very topic, so there is your sneak peek!)
Love and warm bear hugs heading your way,
Melissa
My toolbox simply contains my friends and family. It is truly through their strength and humor that I keep going in thes dark days. I gain strength from those around me and I'm not afraid to reach out to others if I need to you.
And now, my blog friends have also become tools in my box. I really find a sense of peace in an otherwise crazy world when I check in on my favorite bloggers.
Hang in there Deb - picture all of us out here in the blog world helping to hold you up when you need it most.
Hallie
Good (very early) Morning, Deb!
Just wanted to stop by and tell you I'm thinking of you and hoping you have a good day.
And what Hallie said? Me too. All of these blogger friends of yours are always here, ready and waiting whenever you need us.
have been around a couple days this week hoping to hear you are feeling better, have not heard so wanted you to know you are in our prayers and thoughts and do feel better soon!
Hugs Laura
Aw Deb! I hope that this transition time goes quickly for you and isn't as bad as the last time! You are such a sweet, caring soul and you will be in my prayers!
Okay... if Scarlettwannabe comes to your house I want a call so I can come too! Because that sounds like a lot of fun and I want in! She is such a HOOT!!!
Spending time with my animals helps me. And being outside. I also pray and read my bible. That all sounds to trite and like a canned response... I also cry. Oh! sometimes when I am feeling bad I shout out things (only if I am alone though) and say things I would never actually say which ends up making me laugh. I also take naps. Oh... and sometimes I make myself tea in one of my china cups that I usually only use on special occassions. Oh... and I put my favorite sheets on my bed. They are flannel and have reindeer and trees on them and they are on my bed right now even though they don't match my springtime quilt. Sometimes my need for things to match is overridden by my need for my favorite stuff. Sometimes... having things not match is comforting.
Anyway, I pray you get your happy feet back soon.
Just stoppin' by to check on you and let you know you're being thought of and prayed for.
You have warmed my heart in ways that you cannot even imagine! I am so grateful for each and every one of you!
I am on the mend, and I promise to write in the next couple of days. I know that all of your powerful positive thoughts and caring words have helped me to heal faster.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Love,
Debbie
I hope your don't dip down too far...and if need be chocolate ALWAYS helps. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts!
Hi Deb. I was just checking in on you to see how you are feeling..big hugs to you, hope you are back on your happy feet soon!!
Love,
alison
Deb, I have to take steriods daily due to a chronic disease and luckily don't have many side effects other than it's really starting to thin out my skin. I'll keep you in my prayers that God will strengthen you and ease your pain. God Bless, Cathie
I don't know if you will see this, since it is such an old post, but when I am in my darkest of moods, feeling sorry for myself and my chronic illness and chronic pain, I start counting my blessings, starting with my kids and working my way out to my husband, our siblings, our parents, our extended family, our friends, etc. It helps remind me that God has given me a lot of gifts, not just a lot of challenges. Counting my blessings does not make the cloud go away, it just allows the sun to shine through.
(wow, I like that phrase -- I think I'm going to write a blog post about it...)
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