Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Healing Power of Kindness. My Deepest Gratitude.

My dear, dear blogging, and non-blogging friends. We are nesting ourselves back to better days. Although my heart remains heavier than any weight that I have ever carried, I am finding many blessings in which to take comfort. I could not come back to blogging without expressing my deepest appreciation for all of your kind, compassionate and supportive comments and emails. I read them over and over again, and with each word, I feel my spirit begin to strengthen. Every kindness that you have extended to me has enabled my heart to feel a little bit lighter.

Things are very complicated, right now, as my extended family is stuck in the anger of what has happened. This has created more pain and so much ridiculousness, that I cannot even fathom the direction from which they are coming. I can only pray for them as I do my very best to steer clear of their venom. I must protect myself and my family. You would think that a sudden and tragic death would teach them all about how precious time is, but unfortunately, it has not. I can only take what I have learned, and move forward. I have no other choice.

All of that being said, thank you for sticking with me. The "true-blueness" of your friendship is something that will remain with me, long after the pain subsides. I have never met a group of lovelier individuals. I feel your love and support, and there is absolutely nothing like it. This picture of our Cornish Rex kitties reminds me that ALL living things need companionship. Thank you for sticking close.

Love,
Debbie

27 comments:

Grammie Hoffman in WA said...

My dear deb-dub,
Humans experiences grief in different ways, anger is part of it but will pass...time heals. It is hard to understand why some strike out and some hold it in and are vulnerable. I'm glad you are "nesting" with your close family including the non-human ones. That unconditional love is quite a comforter, isn't it?

Alison said...

Hi Deb,

Here is nice big hug for you ((( ))
I am so glad to hear from you, you sound like you are doing the best you can in the situation. Please know that you are never far from my thoughts or prayers.

Love,
Alison

NeereAnDear said...

I admire your strength ... that you choose to back away from the negativity is a good thing for you...maybe you can write a thank you to your brother for all he has done for you and send it to Bill... perhaps this may even help you to heal...

HUGS AND LOVE

JO

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Sticking by you has been my pleasure. You are an amazing spirit, one that will always be appreciated by us all.

As far as the extended family goes, do what you need to do to keep your family safe and protected. Know that devestation can bring out the worst in people. Generally, that changes with time but not always. People respond in such different ways that at times, its very hard to understand why.

I am so glad that YOU sound like you are moving forward. I suspect your brother would be very proud of you.

You are in my thoughts often....

Take care Deb.

Hallie

kim-d said...

Dear Deb~Oh, I am so happy to hear from you. Even during this devastating time in your life, your words lift ME up; you are inspirational! And I think your kitties are beautiful; almost as beautiful as my two :)!!!

I have been where you are, and the reactions of some can be completely the opposite of what one would expect. These are the types of situations where some people reveal their true selves; while others are just temporarily sidetracked with grief. Keeping yourself and your family safe and able to move forward is the ONLY way to go.

Although I am one of your newer blog friends, it is my honor to offer whatever support I can...whenever you want it and for as long as you want it!

Irene Latham said...

Hi Deb - so good to see you back, and your kitties too! Life is so unpredictable. Sometimes the best you can do is just put your head down and keep moving through it. Sending you love and hugs....

Ness said...

Deb, you've been in my thoughts and prayers since Mark blogged about your brother. I'm glad you and your family have strength enough to steer clear of the negative people. Your fur kids are adorable and I'm sure your 4 angels and phenomenal husband have been a source of comfort and strength for you as well. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend. I will always be in debt to the blogging world for the beautiful friends I have made since starting to blog. It has been said you can pick your friends but not your relatives. I'm so thankful to count you among my friends. Take care and let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

ClaireBoe said...

(((((((((Debbie)))))))))))

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

Coming by for a big {{{HUG}}}, hang in there and create a cozy nest of healing and comfort for yourself. As best you can, my dear.

I'm heading out for a little sneaky getaway with my hubby. We haven't gone away together alone for at least two years (maybe longer), so we are looking forward to a break on the coast in a quiet hotel.

I'll check back in on you when I return,

xoxo

Dayna said...

Here is a big hug for you! I know grief freaks people out, and causes them to temporarily loose their minds.

I will pray for you all.

I'm back in California next Sunday, let me know if you need anything

tj said...

...Hello Debra, oh it is so good to hear from you! I hope you are feeling as well as can be expected at this time. And yes, you do not need to be surrounded by bitterness or anger and if it means just being with your own family there then that is where you need to be.

...And looking at the photo of your two kitties reminds me of what I once heard that Angels come in many forms and it makes one wonder about animals and their unconditional love...

...Much love and prayer sent your way!

...Blessings to you... :o)

peach said...

I am glad to see you back online, I am so sorry for you loss... Sudden death... heck any death is just so hard and it is even harder when families fall apart. YOu are in our prayers and thoughts.
God bless
Laura

Angel... said...

Dear Deb,

Have a good take care of yourself.

Whatever happen happens for good.

Let me know if you need any kind of help. I would love to do that.

by happy always ok

Huggs
Angel

NeereAnDear said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NeereAnDear said...

Hey hun

I am so glad you like that idea... what a wonderful way to heal and a beautiful way to remember your brother

Sorry that was me that deleted the above post... I have a horrific headache and my spelling shows it when that happens

HUGS TO YOU

JO

kim-d said...

Hi Deb~

Hey, thanks so much for the lovely comment. I just love your writing, both in your posts and in your comments. You have such a way with words, it is very much appreciated :)!

Thinking of you and hoping for a good weekend for you and your family. {gentle hug}!

JellyBelly said...

I am so glad you are back. I will continue to pray for you and your family. ((((Big Cyber Hugs))))

Kate said...

Hallu Deb,

Thank you very much for visiting my blog. I happy my words have reached you. I'm also sorry to read about your brother.

Just another blogger,
Kate

kim-d said...

Hope you're having a good weekend, Deb. I was thinking about you and wanted to say hi and let you know...

{Gentle hug}

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

I'm glad you're back and healing. It is a slow process but you'll get there, maybe not feeling as complete as you did before, but still you'll have peace and the weight will be lifted. You are a wonderful person, you are full of light, and I know that even if you don't feel like it, your example of love in this time is an amazing witness to those who are filled with anger.

Many, many, many blessing to you!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

In case anyone EVER questioned how wonderful Deb is, I'm here to say that she is the very best!!

And that's NOT even because she is going to tickle my tastebuds with minty yumminess!

Well, for the moment that's why but I love her even without the cookies! (the cookies are just icing on the Deb cake!!!)

Give me a D!
Give me an E!
Give me a B!

What does it spell?

THIN MINT FAIRY!!!!

Hallie

Leesa said...

Sorry for your loss.

Angel... said...

Hi Debb,

How are you feeling...I hope everything is ok with you.

Take care and tell me If I can do anything for you.

bye Angel

Ness said...

Hi Deb! Let there be Ambien CR! Dear husband stopped by Walgreens and brought it home with him from work tonight. Thank God! When I don't sleep, it only makes the fibro worse as you know! Have had you on my heart as I know when it gets quiet, your thoughts are of your brother. Deb, he is so ingrained in your heart and one thing no one can take from us is our memories. I'm betting there's a song or two when you hear it that reminds you of him and makes your heart warm with memories. Hold onto the memories for they will see you through the tough times and one day the tears will be replaced by a smile when you think of him. He sounds like one of the few good guys(you married one and I married the other!) lol

PT for the next 3 days....aargh! Then we're headed to So. Illinois for the weekend to watch Cade and Carter while Kathy has to take their mom for a drug eval on Friday and we're celebrating Carter's 3rd birthday on Saturday. Aunt Nessa ordered him a Lightening McQueen(from the movie Cars)cake for his birthday and he will be beside himself with joy for Lightening McQueen is one of his best buddies and the movie Cars runs at least once a day on their TV! I plan on Friday morning when they wake up to be watching the Disney Channel and then catching up on The Wiggles DVD, Thomas the Train DVD and Bob the Builder. Double the lovin' of my boys in my my lap in Kathy's recliner and no doubt, double the spoons being renewed by all that lovin'. Take care and hugs to you and yours.

Irene Latham said...

Deb- Lynn is a beautiful middle name. Do you ever wonder how different your life might have been had you been given a different name? I mean, what if your parents had called you Lynn? How different would your life be?
You are often in my thoughts... wish I could zip over to CA and give you a real hug. xxoo

Angel... said...

Debb,

How are you? Just dropped by to say you hello...How are things with you?

take care
bye
Angel

Catherine Holman said...

I'll continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my oldest brother in 1990 and it was the most difficult thing that I've ever gone through. Remember the good times and they will help you through as time goes by.
Hugs,
Cathie

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