Tuesday, November 16, 2010

What Will Always be

I have not written very much about my wonderful Angel Daughters lately, for several reasons, but the main one is this.  They are growing up.  Yes, I must finally admit that my children are no longer closer to being children than they are to being young adults.  And with their growth comes independence, busy schedules and a life which does not always include their momma.  They, are on the right path, but I, am quickly being "outgrown" of my job position.  The only job position that ever truly beckoned to me from the inner-most depths of my soul.  The only thing I ever knew with all of my being, that I wanted to be.  Truthfully, I am seeing my daughters grow at a rate which is only equivalent to the baby/toddler years when the changes were exponential and I found myself missing the baby or little person who once was only a few months or so before.  So I accept what is.  And although I am extremely grateful to know that my Angel Daughters are creating lives built upon what Mark and I have poured into them, my soon-to-be empty nest often leaves me searching for other things to feather.  A new flight pattern to create.  Something.  But while I do so, I also get to savour the definite glimpses of the incredible children who are now a part of these unique, lovely, radiant young women while being able to more clearly envision who they will still someday become.  There are very few other jobs in the world that can claim that as part of the job description.

These photos of Angel Daughter Number One were taken by Angel Daughter Number Two.  AD1 is now 23 years old.  She is a gorgeous, bright, big-hearted, hard-working young woman who is following the path of her own soul.  She is an actor who now has an agent.  She knows what the steps towards her dreams are, and she is climbing them, one by one, day by day.

How did she learn to create these beautiful bubbles while not allowing a very difficult industry to burst hers?  By doing Bubble shows for assemblies, parties and her latest gig, modeling for her younger sister.

As I watch her float on the wings of her own hard work and dedication, I am happy.  Which leads me to Angel Daughter Number Two, the taker of those beautiful photos:

AD2 is a self-starter who knows how to get things done.  She is both a photographer and a student of photography at college.  At almost 21 years old, she is being recognized in an industry that can take years to become known in.  She has an innate ability to market herself and her work in a way that shows maturity beyond her years.  And yet, she truly does still have so much to learn.  The most difficult thing is keeping her tethered securely enough, to save her from flying out of control.  Too much, too soon.  Yet her capability to make magic with the click of a camera can be awe-inspiring.  And as I observe her becoming the woman who she will someday be, I am proud.

Which now leads me to Angel Daughter Number Three:

My 18 year old.  AD3(or Alice in Wonderland), began her life as a college freshman this past August.  She goes to school and holds down two jobs, one at a jewelry store and another at J. Crew.  She is funny, very smart, charming and loyal.  And she is content.  She is not yet sure what she would like to major in or what she wants to do in the future, but she is open and willing to try things out.  And isn't that what being a young adult should be all about?  Figuring out the who, what, where and whys of life? Watching her put the pieces together without feeling the pressure of having to have all of the answers right now,  makes me smile.  As her momma, I have witnessed a newfound maturity in her over the course of the past year.  And for this, I too, am content.

Which naturally brings me to our youngest.  Angel Daughter Number Four:

Angel Daughter Number Four is a culmination of everyone in our family.  She is joy exemplified.  At 16, she is wise beyond her years.  She is free-spirited, creative and confident in a way that most 30 years olds are not.  AD4 is our beautiful dancer.  She expresses herself through movement.  And when I watch her dance, my heart dances with her.

Being a mother is the hardest, most fulfilling, sometimes frustrating, but always worth it, job that there is.  As I witness my daughters growing into young women, I pray that they will always know how much they are loved, how incredible they are, and how proud of them that I am.  Being a mom means knowing when to grasp hold and learning when to let go.  It means loving until your heart might burst.  It means setting free. It also means that no matter what else I become in my life, that I will always be the momma of these four special angels and for me, that will always be enough.


Coffee Bean said...

Beautiful and thoughtful post! Your daughters are gorgeous!

chandelier magic said...

Debra -
Yours is my favorite blog. You write exactly what I think, you touch me in every post - it's like you are explaining my thoughts to me.

I relate to how much you adore your 4 AD's and your husband.

And I totally relate to this new chapter of our lives.
I don't always comment but I am so your friend.

Enjoy this beautiful day -

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

What wonderful daughters you have. I can see their beauty comes from you!!

I too am so proud of my girls (they are 19 and 22 now, my 22 year old is just a couple months away from graduating from college!!), isn't it an amazing feeling of relief and accomplishment to see how beautifully they are turning out? So blessed!!!

Much love to you xoxo

Sabi Sunshine said...

Dear Deb,

This is what i was missing in your blog.. it's been like ages you didnt write anything about your Angels, I am glad that you did share this amazing post with all of us and Angels are so blessed to have you as a mother. They all looks so elegant.

Keep smile & world will smile with you.

Have a lovely week!

Sabi Sunshine

deb said...

I'm so thrilled to "meet " you , Deb , here via Laura.

I am also a Deb, btw. I also have four daughters! and a son , who is the oldest at almost 22.

I love love what you wrote here.

can't wait to get to "know" you more.

Myrna R. said...

I'm here visiting from Laura X's blog. I loved your writing. Your daughters are truly beautiful, not just outwardly but they seem to be maturing in a wonderful manner.

You've obviously done a great job.

It's so nice to meet you.

LauraX said...

"Being a mom means knowing when to grasp hold and learning when to let go. It means loving until your heart might burst. It means setting free."

We seem to be edging closer and closer to the truth you have so eloquently stated above as my nearly 17 year old daughter is nudging me further and further away (and then suddenly yanking my fiercely back toward her when she is feeling unsteady...and my nearly 14 year old, is amazingly still fairly velcroed on to me...but I know that won't last either.

The best, the hardest, the most heart-filling and heart-breaking "job" of all, is most certainly being "Mom."

Thanks so much for guesting on my blog today Deb!!!

miruspeg said...

Debbie it's always a delight when you write about your Angels and include wonderful photos.
I have said it before but you are all blessed to be sharing this journey with each other.

I have also come over here to tell you I'll be closing my blog tonight. It has been a joyous couple of years getting to know and love people like you!
Blogging is a bit too distracting and I need to focus on other things that are now very important in my life, like my new Foundation.

We'll keep in touch over at Facebook and I'll definitely come over here weekly to check up on you!

So take care and keep shining my dear friend, love you heap.
Peggy xxxx

Angella Lister said...

gosh, they are beautiful. i so know what you mean about loving them till your heart might burst.

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