What Will Always be

I have not written very much about my wonderful Angel Daughters lately, for several reasons, but the main one is this.  They are growing up.  Yes, I must finally admit that my children are no longer closer to being children than they are to being young adults.  And with their growth comes independence, busy schedules and a life which does not always include their momma.  They, are on the right path, but I, am quickly being "outgrown" of my job position.  The only job position that ever truly beckoned to me from the inner-most depths of my soul.  The only thing I ever knew with all of my being, that I wanted to be.  Truthfully, I am seeing my daughters grow at a rate which is only equivalent to the baby/toddler years when the changes were exponential and I found myself missing the baby or little person who once was only a few months or so before.  So I accept what is.  And although I am extremely grateful to know that my Angel Daughters are creating lives built upon what Mark and I have poured into them, my soon-to-be empty nest often leaves me searching for other things to feather.  A new flight pattern to create.  Something.  But while I do so, I also get to savour the definite glimpses of the incredible children who are now a part of these unique, lovely, radiant young women while being able to more clearly envision who they will still someday become.  There are very few other jobs in the world that can claim that as part of the job description.

These photos of Angel Daughter Number One were taken by Angel Daughter Number Two.  AD1 is now 23 years old.  She is a gorgeous, bright, big-hearted, hard-working young woman who is following the path of her own soul.  She is an actor who now has an agent.  She knows what the steps towards her dreams are, and she is climbing them, one by one, day by day.

How did she learn to create these beautiful bubbles while not allowing a very difficult industry to burst hers?  By doing Bubble shows for assemblies, parties and her latest gig, modeling for her younger sister.

As I watch her float on the wings of her own hard work and dedication, I am happy.  Which leads me to Angel Daughter Number Two, the taker of those beautiful photos:

AD2 is a self-starter who knows how to get things done.  She is both a photographer and a student of photography at college.  At almost 21 years old, she is being recognized in an industry that can take years to become known in.  She has an innate ability to market herself and her work in a way that shows maturity beyond her years.  And yet, she truly does still have so much to learn.  The most difficult thing is keeping her tethered securely enough, to save her from flying out of control.  Too much, too soon.  Yet her capability to make magic with the click of a camera can be awe-inspiring.  And as I observe her becoming the woman who she will someday be, I am proud.

Which now leads me to Angel Daughter Number Three:

My 18 year old.  AD3(or Alice in Wonderland), began her life as a college freshman this past August.  She goes to school and holds down two jobs, one at a jewelry store and another at J. Crew.  She is funny, very smart, charming and loyal.  And she is content.  She is not yet sure what she would like to major in or what she wants to do in the future, but she is open and willing to try things out.  And isn't that what being a young adult should be all about?  Figuring out the who, what, where and whys of life? Watching her put the pieces together without feeling the pressure of having to have all of the answers right now,  makes me smile.  As her momma, I have witnessed a newfound maturity in her over the course of the past year.  And for this, I too, am content.

Which naturally brings me to our youngest.  Angel Daughter Number Four:

Angel Daughter Number Four is a culmination of everyone in our family.  She is joy exemplified.  At 16, she is wise beyond her years.  She is free-spirited, creative and confident in a way that most 30 years olds are not.  AD4 is our beautiful dancer.  She expresses herself through movement.  And when I watch her dance, my heart dances with her.

Being a mother is the hardest, most fulfilling, sometimes frustrating, but always worth it, job that there is.  As I witness my daughters growing into young women, I pray that they will always know how much they are loved, how incredible they are, and how proud of them that I am.  Being a mom means knowing when to grasp hold and learning when to let go.  It means loving until your heart might burst.  It means setting free. It also means that no matter what else I become in my life, that I will always be the momma of these four special angels and for me, that will always be enough.