Thursday, March 13, 2008

What Comes Next

This past weekend, my husband and I were going to spend some time by ourselves, down by the beach. As we were getting set to leave, I realized that I wasn't ready to leave my angels, quite yet. I still have this nagging need to be within arms reach of my family. My wonderful husband called the hotel and booked another room for our girls. I began breathing again and we had a lovely time.

Please remember to always be gentle with yourself. Honor your instincts and allow yourself to indulge, if need be. The human spirit is very strong, yet it is also quite fragile. I am finding that by parenting myself in a loving and supportive way, I have more to share with others.

My best and oldest friend's daughter, gave birth to her first baby yesterday. Since we have known each other since we were twelve years old, and we have raised our children as family, I am now a "Great Aunt". Such a blessing this baby girl is! She will be another rich thread in the beautiful tapestry which is life.


kim-d said...

Hi Debbie! I have missed you and meant to stop by and comment before this, and then...well, you know how that goes! When I saw what you did for Hallie, I just smiled and smiled...that is what I call being a true friend!!!! :)

I love the it. Almost as much as the fact that you booked that second room. What a loving, fun family yours must be. I agree completely that sometimes the best we can do, to start with, is to give ourselves the love that we also want to give to those around us. The more we give, the more we get, and the circle goes around...Isn't it such a great gift to be able to love and to accept love in return?

Thanks for the thoughts you share; it means a lot to read your words!

Grammie Hoffman in WA said...

Deb Dub,
Nice to see you smiling! Am I wrong or does Mark have a little Arnold Schwartzeneger (sp?) look going there? Have fun sweet family!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Waht a wonderful way to continue on your path to healing. Being surrounded by those you love the most is really the best medicine.

Congrats on being a GREAT AUNT! Hope we get to see pics!

What a wonderful blessing.

Hallie :)

Laura ~Peach~ said...

I come by daily to see how things are going... I am so glad to hear that you and your family got to have some time together and some heart healing. Congratulations on the new baby! We continue to hold you all in our prayers.

Ness said...

Please remember to always be gentle with yourself. Honor your instincts and allow yourself to indulge, if need be. The human spirit is very strong, yet it is also quite fragile. I am finding that by parenting myself in a loving and supportive way, I have more to share with others.

This quote of yours is my new affirmation. I've been so busy taking care of others that the weekend after Easter my husband is locking me away from everyone but him and we're gonna go red truck cruisin'.

I always gain so much from your posts. My heart to yours as you make your peace with the loss of your brother. Hold onto the memories for they are the best.

Debra w said...


I love it when you stop by! You always leave me the nicest notes, and they make my day. You are a true sweetheart.

Grammie Hoffman,

I get such a kick out of your nickname for me! Do you have a blog? I would love to come by to say hello. Arnold Schwartzeneger is one of Mark's favorite movie stars(and governators!). I chuckled when I read what you wrote. I guess they do have the same facial shape and shades! You are adorable.


You always make me smile. Truly, you are the best. Next time we are in Maine visiting our good friends, I am so making a lunch date with you!


Thank you for your kind thoughts and words! It makes me feel more peaceful just knowing that you are there. I am glad that we found each other.


What can I say? You are so good for my spirit. A sister of the heart. I agree that you need to start finding things that bring you peace and balance. I know how much you love your family and friends, but balance is what keeps us going. I agree with your husband, you need to go crusin in your new red truck! Find some new places to explore and nurture your soul. You deserve it.

As always, thank you so much for sticking with me. I need you all more than you can know. I picture you as my favorite angels, surrounding me with your love and light. That brings me so much comfort.


Grammie Hoffman in WA said...

I started to address you as D Dub but Deb Dub just has a ring to it! You are special!

My blog is
I am posting an original mayo recipe I found in the attic today.


tj said...

...Hello dear Debbie! So glad to see you smile and know that you are doing the best that you can... And some time at the beach with family certainly sounds like a good remedy for a weary spirit... ;o)

...I think of you all the time and you are in my prayers - it's so good to see you posting. Many blessings to you girl... :o)

...If you feel up to doing it you've sorta, kinda been

...Blessings... :o)

Irene Latham said...

What a sweet pic! Yes yes yes, we must surround ourselves with love and life in the face of heartache. Always remember that you are loved. xxoo

NeereAnDear said...

Surrounding yourself with those you love when you are hurting healing or in pain is one of Gods greatest blessings... take your take your time... we will all be here



Catherine Holman said...

It's sometimes hard to believe that life can move on when you are in pain. But, bit by bit life will get better and being with your family as much as possible helps to ease the pain. I'll keep you in my prayers. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Ness said...


Thank you so much for the chicken soup! Nothing wants to go down this raw throat! Just stoppin' by before I take the NightQuill and Ambien CR and head to bed. All the kids called and checked on me today so that was A-OK. They are all 2 hours away but will be here Easter and I know if I needed them, they'd come runnin'. And thank you again for your post. It made my evening!

And I did enjoy DWTS...I thought they all did well. Tomorrow night at least I can watch AI first and then DWTS and my daughter told me today that my alma mater(SIU) got an NIT bid and they're playing their first basketball game tomorrow night on ESPN2. Man, I need like 2 TVs. LOL Take care and mega hugs to you.

Patriot said...

Thank you for your kind wishes! It sounds like you had a wonderful time at the beach with your family! Have a great week!

kim-d said...

I was thinking of you and decided that would be the best time to drop by and say hi. Take good care of yourself, Deb, and know that I'm sending you {{gentle hugs}}!!!

Catherine Holman said...

Hi Debra,
Yes, my two cats are sisters. They are complete opposites though.

Glad you and your family had a nice weekend.

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

Hey my dear BFF, I am so glad to finally be reading the rest of this post! My connection cut me off after I read the first 2 or 3 lines last time so I didn't see that you had brought your girls and took some time away together. I am so glad to hear that.

Congratulations on your new role as Great Aunt. What a blessing!

I'm back in Portland, just got back a few hours ago. It was crazy trying to get home so I am very happy to be here. I'll update soon!


Alice said...

Debbie -

First and foremost, my heart goes to you for your incredible loss. I know it is a loss of great magnitude and there are simply no words adequate enough for me to tell you how sorry I am. Just know as you read these words you and your family are being held up in prayer.

I hope you find this blog to be a place of healing. In your own time. And in your own way. As so many reminded me today - our grief is ours to feel as we need and to experience the way that is right for us. I can't tell you that it gets easier, but it does become more bearable. But for now - you just have to take it a day at a time. There was a time for me right after Kelly died when I was overwhelmed by EVERYTHING. I had panic attacks, I couldn't sleep, I cried at work....I was a mess. But then I remembered to just breathe. To take it a moment at at a time. I found my faith again during this time. And while I certainly don't push my beliefs on anyone - to each his own - I do know that I found immeasurable comfort in prayer and meditation. It is in those moments of stillness that I felt Kelly strongest.

This is not an easy road you are going down, but I hope you know that you don't travel it alone. I am praying for you to make it through right now - one moment at a time. I pray that you find the space to breathe. I pray in those moments of stillness you feel your brother as powerful as ever. I pray for you to have peace and comfort.

Thank you for stopping by my blog. Please come back and let me know how you are doing. I'll be back here checking on you. Keep writing if you feel up to it. There will come a time you will be glad you wrote everything down.

Sending you many prayers from Atlanta -


Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Hey Deb,
I am so glad that you have a wonderful family who support and love you. It was actually very romantic of your husband to get another room for your girls. How very lucky you are.

Friend, we would very likely get into trouble for talking too much in Heaven, but I think we would just giggle and continue to chat away. When I talked about how I try to be a light, I was actually thinking of you. When I typed that, I was reminded of what a wonderful example of light and love that you are. On my good days, I hope, I am a little like you...but usually I am bad. One of the reasons I love checking in with you is to be reminded of the love, kindness, and joy that shines in a dark world.

I am so grateful for you and your wisdom. Many, many, many blessings to you friend.

PS- I love the just looks so sassy and fun!

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