Leaving Las Vegas Or Accepting the Journey

Initially, I was about to write about the trip my family took this past weekend to Las Vegas(with pictures), but my laptop decided it wasn't feeling well. All of the photos that I took are now in the custody of that computer and so I will have to wait until it arrives home, feeling healthier, from the Apple store.

I will share several highlights from the weekend, number one being that all four of our angel daughters were able to join us. Having a daughter in college, and another who is eighteen and becoming very independent, makes it difficult to plan family vacations. Our oldest angel and her very lovely boyfriend(You might remember "The Cheesemiester" from my blog about his Pizza Hut commercial.) drove out the day after we arrived and spent two nights with us. Angel daughter number four is a fantastic, little dancer, and she had a competition which we attended. Even though Hip-Hop is not my favorite style of dance, I can truly appreciate the difficulty and the energy level that it takes to choreograph one of those dances. AD4 puts everything that she has into it. Her sassy, whimsical spirit shines through in all of her dance moves. Truly a joy to observe!

Another, absolutely life-affirming moment which our family shared, was meeting my "great-niece". She belongs to the beautiful daughter and son-in-law of my oldest and dearest friend whom I have known since I was twelve. Their entire family is our extended family by choice(and after thirty-three years of friendship, we can't seem to get rid of each other). We have raised our combined seven children, plus her three now foster babies, as cousins. She is my soul-sister. The baby, who was born almost three weeks ago, is one of the most beautiful babies that I have ever seen. She is tiny and perfect and round. Her eyes are inquisitive and alert. I got my hands on her as soon as we walked in the door and only gave her up to let my niece feed her, and to allow the rest of my family to cuddle with her for a bit. She now owns a huge piece of her Auntie Deb's heart. I will check with her mom to see if I can post a picture of her here. I just know that she will melt your heart.

D, my dear friend, is still the temporary mother of three adorable foster babies ages, fifteen months, two and three and a half. Their birth mother(BM, as we so lovingly like to refer to her)still has not gotten her life together after a year and so these precious little children live their lives in a state of limbo. The only real hope for them would be for BM to release custody so that they could be adopted into loving homes, but it does not look like she is going to do that. Social Services only seems to care about "success stories" which to them means reuniting children with their birth parents. In situations like these, where the BM took drugs and drank throughout all of her pregnancies, abused and negected her two oldest children until they were removed from the home, and cared so little about her youngest baby that she landed him in Intensive Care for the first week of his life suffering from drug withdrawl, she tore up her parenting card! D and K and their family have done an absolutely amazing job of parenting these children. I only pray that the rest of the story turns out well. We were able to spend lots of time with the children during our visit, but it is always bittersweet. Each time we see them, I wonder if it will be the last.

All in all, we had a fun trip. I even got to teach my daughter's boyfriend(The Cheesemiester) how to play Blackjack. Something that you definitely don't know about me is that I have been a Blackjack player since I was eighteen years old. I really like to play and used to participate in Blackjack invitiational tournaments. I have even held my own against grumpy, old men who think that women shouldn't be allowed to gamble and have driven them away from the table with their tail between their legs. I kind of like it when that happens(tee-hee). Anyway, The Miester caught on really quickly! He did very well for his first time, and even walked away with a little extra money in his pocket. We laughed a lot and had a great time. Thanks Angel daughter number one for allowing me to borrow your boyfriend for a little while. You only have a couple more months left until you don't get chased away from the table anymore. I do promise that your youthful genes will be a bonus when you are my age!

I chose this stock picture of the pier because it represents some of what I am feeling, right now. I am still on the long journey past grief, and into a life without so much raw pain. I can visualize a place in which I will be able to take deep, peace-filled breaths, once again, but I know that I am still a long way from actually arriving there. Patience and prayer are two things which sustain me. Patience. Prayer.