What Returns

                                   *sea glass from a San Francisco beach

When my brother died, unexpectedly, a little less than a year ago, our family went through a metamorphosis which led us down to the ocean.  No longer could we hold onto our dreams until tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow.  We felt the sudden desperate need to focus on the immediacy of today and with that, we decided to do something that experts in grief counseling would advise someone never to do.  We made the huge decision to rush one of our "when the girls leave home" dreams into reality.  We bought our beach home.  It felt like something that we had to do at the time and we are filled with gratitude by the fact that we were able to bring our dream into reality at a time when we desperately needed it.

So much has changed for us over the course of a year.  But with the sad, with the grieving, with the pain, came some very good things, as well.  And as I begin to emerge from the fog that a sudden shock will cover the lens of life with, some of the diversions which helped to bring me to today will remain with me into many tomorrows.  One of those diversions that became a form of meditation for me, is sea glass hunting.  I cannot begin to express the pleasure that I have gained from the hours that I have spent walking the beaches, over the past months, and collecting sea glass.  The tiny shards of colorful glass that the ocean transforms and then returns to the shoreline, allow me to fixate not only on what is lost, but also on what returns to us after the initial adjustment which occurs after a change.
When Mark and I took our four Angels up to San Francisco, last month, we found a beach that was covered in rocks and sea glass.  It was absolutely amazing!  When we treasure hunt down here in Southern California, the beautiful bits of sea glass are becoming more and more rare, but the father up north you travel, the more and more plentiful the remnants become.  The photos above picture some of the sea glass that I collected during our trip to San Francisco.  If you multiply that amount by six, you will get a better idea of how much glorious treasure our family unearthed.  We came home with pounds of this beautiful bounty, along with the special memories that we shared as a family on our treasure hunts.  Those wonderful memories will be something that we will be able to return to, over and over again.
                                   *seagulls in the sun, San Clemente, California

My four Angels have now taken an interest in sea glass hunting along with their dad and I.  I love that this is something that we will be able to share and enjoy together for many years to come.  Mark and I are planning another trip which will also involve scouring the beaches for treasures.  I know that time will bring along with it many, many changes but if we have something to which we can all return, the difficult times will be much more manageable.

As I was sitting here writing this, I could not help but wonder.  What are some of the things that you do in order to weather the changes of life?  What do you find yourself returning to?  I know many people turn to God or spirituality and that is huge and important, but what kinds of things do you do to distract yourself when life becomes too rough?