Gifts From the Sea

Walking along the shoreline, one dreary afternoon a few months ago, I spotted something much larger and much bluer than the pieces of seaglass that I typically come across on my weekend journeys.  The beaches on which I do my searching are neither known for, nor do they usually yield large or unusual pieces of seaglass and so, I am always quite happy with whatever I am able to find during my walks.  But every now and then, something extraordinary will turn up and I must shake my head with thoughts of "Why me?  Why this moment?"  And I feel lucky, as my spirit quietly jumps up and down inside of my body, trying not to let anyone else who might be glancing in my direction see that I am secretly ecstatic.  That I am secretly lucky.  Is it more that I think that they will run up behind me, taking me down at the knees in order to steal my special find?  Or is it my own inner-voice trying to save me from becoming too excited about something that might surely disappoint me?  That it won't really end up being what my eyes have perceived I have seen.  My intuition would tell me that it is a little bit of both.  The need to not display too outwardly, the stroke of luck that I have just come upon, as well as the self-protective mechanism which often kicks in when we feel we might have just momentarily gotten a little too lucky.

Yet we are so willing to accept the negative.  We are so willing to accept the strokes of bad luck or misfortune.  Somehow we view life's school of hard knocks as something we deserve, while perceiving the good fortune that comes our way as undeserved or unearned.  I have become somewhat of an expert at this, over the past several years, not questioning the unfairness of my life, but readily wondering what I have done to earn the "lucky" parts.  Wondering how I got so lucky in finding the right man and having the right children while building the right life for ourselves, yet never questioning why I must live with a chronic illness, or as a brotherless sister.  Why is it okay to question the positive things that happen as if we are undeserving, but then accept the negatives as though we had them coming?  The more I think about it, the stupider it sounds.  Yet it is a mindset which is difficult to change.  To admit that we do deserve all of the good that comes into our lives and that sometimes, just sometimes, we have the absolute right to question the crap.

After doing a little research, I found out that the large piece of cobalt seaglass which washed up right in front of me on the shore, came from a bottle which was produced during the years 1900-1915.  Cobalt bottles were used mainly for medicines which is why finding even a tiny shard from a cobalt bottle is fairly rare.  Somehow, and in someway, this little remnant found its way over oceans and time and unknown depths to the coastline right as a wave carried it onto the shore just below my feet.  My feet!  And guess what?  Nobody tried to take me down at the knees for getting excited about it.  Not even God.

So the next time something wonderfully unexpected happens, try something new.  Consider it a gift from The Universe or God or even your higher-self.  And instead of saying, "Why me?  What did I do in order to deserve such good fortune?", just try saying, "Thank you".  I wonder what might happen if we all decided to give ourselves the credit which we truly deserve and then reverently just accepted it.

May you allow yourself to openly and freely accept the good which can sometimes wash up in the waves of your life, without wondering why.  May you give yourself some credit for the good, while understanding the balance which will always exist.  And may you accept the gifts, without trying to tell yourself that you do not deserve them.  You do.