Thursday, May 15, 2008

Hold Onto Each Other Above Everything Else

I am making the changes which have plagued my family for generations past.  In many ways, I am a genetic mutation.  I am not referring to the fact that I am the only one in my family who cannot roll their tongue into a hot dog bun.(Watching me try has been a source of constant amusement for my children.)  I am also not referring to the fact that my second toe is longer than my first toe.(Okay, I suppose I didn't have to admit that, but I try to keep things real.)  What I am referring to is the fact that for as many generations as I can count back, there has always, and I mean always, been some sort of ridiculous family rift which has kept people who love each other from remaining in each other's lives.  This is something that has occurred on both my maternal and paternal sides of the family, so I would say that it is pretty strongly embedded within the genetics.  But, alas, I am a genetic mutation and my genetic make-up says that the stupidity stops here.  

Being a realist, I understand that I will not be able to prevent my angels from making spontaneous decisions.  They will face moments of anger and misunderstanding, but during those times I would also hope that they will think back to what I have taught them about family unity.  Being an optimist, I would also hope that some of what I have strived to teach them about love and connection will stick, and that they will overcome any disagreements that they have, quickly and fairly.  My prayer is that they will always find love to be stronger than anger.
We spent our first weekend at the beach, appreciating and loving on one another.  As my girls get older, I find that I have more time to take a step back to observe them within their own dynamics, separate from mine and my husbands.  They are becoming strong, independent women.  Each one of them has a spirit which shines brightly on it's own.
They are unique, self-starting, creative and loving.  They are four parts but together, they make a whole.
I thank God every day, that I found this guy to be my husband and to make my children with.  Together, we have created a family that emphasizes loyalty, unity and above all else, love.  Our genetic puzzles created children that are well-versed in what it means to hold onto each other above everything else.

And for these reasons, I am astoundingly proud to admit that I am a genetic mutation.  A mutation which I pray will carry forth for generations to come.  A mutation that will forgive and forget the stupidity of those who came before.  A mutation that will promote the strength of love above the need to be right.

This is my prayer, not only for my family, but for yours, as well.
Amen.

14 comments:

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Not sure I'd label myself a gentic mutation (although I love the reference!) but I do know since my Dad's heart transplant, I have no interest in pettiness. Time IS precious and I truly believe we are meant to live as happily and harmoniously as possible. And for me to do that means loving my whole family, warts and all. Even when they aggravate the crap out of me (and they do) I am still thankful everyday for the chance to have them bug the crap out of me.

Without them, I am nothing.

Hallie

Laura ~Peach~ said...

very very true...

kim-d said...

I agree 100%. Which is not a surprise because I usually do agree 100% with you, Deb. And also with Hallie. Since most of the people I love(d) the most started dying--mostly long before their time--I have a whole different view of what is important and what isn't. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. And life can be very short. Too short to be petty and small. I know that it is extremely important for me to find some beauty in each day--and when it comes to pix of your angels/family, home(s) and surroundings, and gardens/flowers--you certainly help me to do that! Really, Deb, your angels are gorgeous--such genuine, happy, kind-spirited smiles. I think you and hubby have perfected family life, and you are generous enough to share it with us. Just know how much that is appreciated!

Gentle hugs & love!!!

All Things Bright and Beautiful... said...

Wow - you are one insightful and inspirational lady. Good on you for facing up to the problems of the generations

Jenn said...

Great words!! I enjoy reading your blog, you cause one to think a moment and reflect on actions.

You have a beautiful family!!

Ness said...

Deb, I feel as though I just came out of a soul massage when I read your posts. Your daughters can't help but be a continuance of the beautiful, loving parents that created them. I'm so happy you have the beach to go to. Fibro and cancer has taught me to appreciate the little things, the moments because that is all we have. Some day I hope I can come out and you can show me your beach and we can sit there and look out at the water and the beauty and realize the beautiful friendship we have. Never stop writing, Deb. It is balm for my soul. Love ya.

Bogart in P Towne said...

When I used to do some pastoral counciling, I would always come back to one thing...your family history cannot be changed, but the lingering distortions that are created generation after generation can be stopped if you are atune to the issue.

It is so cool to see this being a focus for your family and the choices you are making will pay of for generations.

Thanks for sharing all of this...it is very cool to read and see the pictures.

Alison said...

very well said Deb, I totally agree. As you know we have a stupid rift in our family also and I hope to be a genetic mutation in our family just like you!

Irene Latham said...

The important thing is love. What a world it would be if the mutants were actually the majority. :) love the pics! And yes, I too and looking forward to the Bachelorette! I liked that the bachelor picked Shayne. Maybe they'll be another Trista and Ryan??? We can hope. xxoo

tj said...

...Oh amen to that! I too come from a dysfunctional family and I can clearly understand where you are coming from Debra... There comes a day when you realize that you are your own person and that the outcome of your own life is solely up to you regardless of what has happened in the past or where you come from. One of my fav' quotes is by Abe Lincoln and it says, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be"...it's a good rule of thumb to live by... :o)

...You are truly blessed with your dear husband and your four angel girls! They are just so beautiful too! I'm so happy that I found you here as you are an inspiration to me even if it is from afar...

...As always, fab' post!

...Blessings dear Debra... :o)

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

You are so very blessed. In spite of the baggage from the past, which in one way or another I suppose we all have, you are making YOUR family a new creation altogether! That is the beauty and the struggle. So hard to overcome the life that was modeled for us, yet it makes us so determined to do some of it differently. And with your lovely spirit and determination, you are SUCCEEDING!

Bless you, dear friend,
Melissa

Patriot said...

What a great post - and a wonderful family! Thank you so much for your sweet comment on my site! Have a wonderful week!

Wyanne said...

What a wonderful post. I love reading all your wisdom and learning about your beautiful family. You are very blessed. Thank you for reminding us about the most important things in life. Love, Wyanne

Coffee Bean said...

Your words are always so thought provoking and beautiful. Your beach house is fabulous! What a blessing to be able to all hang out there together! Hmmmmm... I can see some weddings out there... LOL!

I pray you are feeling well.

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