Saturday, October 3, 2009

Reconciliation for a Different Life

I was once told by someone who professed to be psychic, that I had spent many a lifetime with this child. In our most recent incarnation, many moons before this one, the clairvoyant described a very heart-wrenching scene. In it, I am standing on a beach wearing a grey jacket, clutching my baby, this baby, desperately in my arms. As we look on in helpless desperation, Mark(my loving husband in this lifetime, and apparently in many others) rushes out into the waves to help rescue people who have been in some sort of a boating accident. As we look on in tearful resignation, we watch as the treacherous waves consume my husband's body, taking him down with the very individuals he was trying to save. I am left standing alone
on the beach with my baby. We cling to one another, crying hysterically, as the vision of this past lifetime comes to a close. And while I am still not entirely sure that I am convinced of the validity of this past-life synopsis, my heart pounds unevenly and my hands shake slightly, as I recreate this vision.

Interestingly enough, the woman who described this scene went on to tell me that Mark and I were supposed to go on to have many other children during that particular lifetime, but that his life was cut short because of free-will. She said that one of the reasons that we got together and married young, during this lifetime, was to complete our family and to live the life we were meant to live way back when. We discussed the very intense connection that I have always had with Angel Daughter Number Two. We talked about her need to test our love in a sort of push-me, pull-me kind of way that has always created excitement within our family. And we talked about whether the pain and anguish of what happened before could cause my need to keep those I love, very safe and very close during this lifetime.

While I had this conversation with the psychic on a lark, I could not help but walk away with the feeling that she had seen something that I had long forgotten about. Somewhere, in a very deep cellular place within my body, something about this story rang a bell of familiarity. A glimmer of recognition reverberated throughout my soul, and I thought, what if? What if...

As I scrolled through the photos I shot last weekend, this one made me stop and reflect. The thing about this photo is that she is not looking at the camera. She is looking at me. My daughter, my monkey, my second Angel, my child. Pupils slightly dilated, eyes set on eyes, we are connected. The photo is what brought me back to the story.

What connects us to those we love? How do certain individuals stop us in our tracks while others pass through with barely a second glance? Why do some people feel like home? For me, there has always been so much more than what just lies in front of us. There is something that connects us on a level which we cannot even begin to understand. A level that knows without seeing and sees without knowing. A bigger picture which comes through the camera of life, but which stares right into our souls.

Does knowing this story have any real affect on how Angel Daughter Number Two, myself and Mark relate to one another? Not so much. But in many ways, it surely explains a lot.


Blue said...

she looks so much like you in this picture!

i don't personally trust the source of information from psychics...but that's another conversation for another time.

but i DO think the source of their information does reveal just enough truth to the psychics for there to be tendrils of resonance with the client (with the aim of keeping people coming back to them for insight and information, instead of going to the one true source of light and truth).

i also have no doubt that AD2 was connected to you forever before you both came to this earth, and that you will be connected forever after this life ends. ♥

jojo said...

That is exciting and scary all at the same time. I don't know what I think about all of that...I suppose it's possible but to me it is too frightening to explore.
She is lovely..there is no doubt there!

Mickey Johnson said...

...i love stories...any stories, but especially those that make my heart pound a bit faster and my mind race in rapid circles wondering what will happen other words stories that are a bit tragic. anyway, i don't know about past lives, but i know your three; past, present and future are delightful and blessed. although i do not know why, i think we have special connections with some people that we lack with others...i like to call them kindred spirits. you have a kindred spirit behind those eyes. xo, mickey

miruspeg said...

What a wonderful post and a powerful story Debbie...delightful!
I am so happy I have found your the way you write and the topics you choose to write about.

I feel each life is a lesson. One of many. Lessons about love, compassion, respect for nature and above all the omnipresent universal law of cause and effect.
No matter how much misinformed we are, how limited is our comprehension, how ridiculous are our beliefs and actions, nothing can change the truth and the order established in the Universe.

I can feel your joy of being connected not only in this lifetime but previous lifetimes...such a blessing.

Finally I would like to add how much I resonate with these words you wrote:
"A level that knows without seeing and sees without knowing".

Take care always

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