The Dog Days of Summer-Saying Good-bye to Another July

Really, the dog days of summer are said to be between the dates of July 3 and August 11, but that is only if I decide to be precise about things.  Which, I most usually am not.  A little literary license keeps things much more interesting.  During ancient times, it was believed that the constellation Sirius(the dog) was  brightest in the sky during these dates, therefore joining with the sun in heating up the earth, hence the dog days.  But since we have all been experiencing some extremely steamy days recently, I decided to describe this most recent set of memories as our dog days of summer.  And since the photo above is of our very majestic dog, Micah, watching attentively over the shoreline below our home, for me, these are the dog days of summer.

Our family is quite big on hugging.  Yes, we are all huggers.  If you meet one of us for the first time, chances are you are going to receive a hug because that is the way that we roll.  I certainly did not grow up in a family of huggers, but it was something that came naturally to me as I ventured out into the world on my own.  It feels good to hug.  It feel good to be hugged.  Embracing another person allows us to connect on a level that waving and saying hello or good-bye cannot achieve.  Lord knows the world can be a cold and lonely place these days, so I say HUG AWAY and if I am ever lucky enough to meet you, feel free to give me a hug.  I am absolutely positive that there is a study out there somewhere that proves that hugging can increase your life span by seven years.(I just made that up but somehow I am sure that it is true!)  I recently decided that capturing photographs of people hugging is a very good and sneaky way to discern their heartfelt feelings for one another.

Look at the body language, look at these faces.(Look at my expensive and coveted Mexican Cokes being hijacked by my children!)

Witnessing how they hug on one another makes this momma's heart swell.

Even when they are posing for me, the genuine love that they feel for each other shines through the camera lens.

Mark is so lucky to have four daughters who dote on him more and more with each passing year.  They are so lucky to have a father who loves them so dearly.  I am lucky to have them all.  Ah, this family we have created is all I really need in this world.  Well, I would not complain about also having an entire fridge filled with ice-cold Mexican Coca-Cola bottles, but maybe I ask for too much.

With summertime comes three birthdays, Angel Daughter Number One(thank you, Mark!  I cannot tell you how often I confuse my children by name, let alone, number) turned twenty-four.  And I turned...Well, we have already discussed that.  Tomorrow would have been my little brother's forty-fifth birthday.  45.   He will be forever young in our hearts and in our minds.  He was forty-one when he died.  I will definitely blast a few Springsteen songs for him just to see if I can still feel him close.  It would make me very happy to think that Rob might be partying with Clarence somewhere.  The Big Man, The Master of disaster, The Minister of Soul, The King of the World...The spirit of the E-Street Band.  Clarence Clemons' passing a couple of weeks ago, also broke our hearts.  So thinking that my brother and Clarence might be tripping the light fantastic creates a huge lump in my throat.  My brother was a huge Springsteen fan and so are we.  It is a part of our history.  A part of who we were.  A part of who I now am and will always be.  Always...

Summertime also brings with it the beautiful House Finches who always seem to nest in the same places every year.  How is it that they know to return to a place that has been secure for them in the past.  In some other homes, the front door would be an extremely precarious spot to build a nest.  In our home, the nest rests securely between our wreath and the glass on our door.  AD1 is bravely climbing the later for her vertically challenged momma to see if she is able to spot any eggs in the nest.  Each year I place a sign outside saying that there are nesting birds on our door.  I duct tape the door shut and nobody is allowed to open it.  The sign tells visitors to come to our side door and most people do listen.  The thought of that makes me almost as misty as the Finches who return every year to raise their babies.  Human Beings can be painfully kind.

This summer, we also got to meet sweet Scarlett.  Scarlett is the granddaughter of my oldest friend, Donna, who I have known since we were twelve.  Donna's Daughter, Jessica, and her adorable husband stopped by on their way to San Diego so that we could finally meet their gorgeous baby.  

We all attended their wedding, last year.  Scarlett is what is known as a "honeymoon baby".  What a fantastic souvenir Jessica and Brock returned home with!  They make such adorable parents.  

Angel Daughter Number Four decided that pink would be the color of the summer.  Maybe not the entire summer because her hair is now blonde, but much of July.  Not exactly sure what colors are left for her to try but I am sure that she will come up with something.  I cannot complain.  AD4 is such a wonderful, responsible, and very mature-for-a-seventeen year old child(Believe me, after having made it through "17" three times before, I could not ask for more).  Her loving and compassionate nature make this momma proud down to the very core.

A little bit more Scarlett.

The Fourth of July was a fun day around beach central.  Our home is fairly close to Camp Pendleton which makes our area very proud of the young men and women who choose to serve our country.  Encountering these wonderful individuals on a regular basis makes me very proud to be an American.  Mark and I make it a policy to thank each and every individual who we come across wearing a uniform throughout the course of our days.  It never ceases to bring a smile of pride to their faces and a bit of a bounce to their steps.  

On the eve of the Fourth, we sit on our patio and watch the firework show that is put on off of the San Clemente pier.  If the wind is blowing, we get quite a bit of smoke.  This year was not as bad as some years have been.

Angel Daughter Number Three and her boyfriend, Jacob, invited a couple of their friends to join us for the weekend.  We made a fire and they made s'mores while the fireworks exploded in the distance.  Not a better seat in the house.

This was one of my favorite parts of the evening.  Fireworks cascaded down from the pier and lit up the water in such a fantastic display.  Look at all of the folks down in the water!  Not sure that I would be brave enough to watch the show from their vantage point, but it must have been quite a perspective.

The next day, I spotted the boys doing what kids seem to do no matter where they are, fiddling with their phones.  Not exactly sure what we did before the invention of cellphone!

The dog days of summer also brought us together for a little shopping.  Can you guess which Angel Daughters these are?  I know that one is pretty easy to discern.

I have heard that the next week will bring back milder temperatures here in Southern California.  I hope that wherever you are, the same will be true for you.  I prefer cool ocean breezes to being able to fry an egg on the sidewalk!

Since I began this with one of our dogs, I will wrap up the month of July with two of our cats.  Yes, they have enormous ears and yes, their coats are different from that of a domestic cat.  They are Cornish Rexes and in many ways, they are much more dog-like that cat.

Being that we are only going on to the end of July, it seems as though there is a lot more summer left to enjoy(depending on where you live).  According to astrological folklore, there are even two more weeks left to the dog days of summer(just hopefully not the extreme heat).  I wish for you celebrations and fireworks, and if not fireworks, then definitely shooting stars.  I wish you sun-filled days that never seem to end, but blend down into the night.  I wish you bird nests and s'mores and babies, if you are lucky enough to be able to find one that you can hold for a while.  I wish you family who you like spending time with, friends who are family if you do not, and maybe a Mexican Coke or two.  But most of all, I wish you hugs.  Lots and lots of hugs.  Because in my mind, there is nothing quite as validating, quite as life-affirming, quite as energizing as an honestly gifted and well-received hug to remind us of how truly important we are in the lives of one another.

So much love.

The Pursuit of Happiness/Dear Life

Dear Life,

Summer has always been an interesting time for me.  All of that "before birthday" build-up and then the quiet, bittersweet feeling that lingers behind when the day finally comes and then goes.  It's kind of like that very last slice of chocolate birthday cake with whipped-cream frosting that sits solemnly under wrinkled plastic-wrap inside of the fridge.  You want to eat it but when it's gone, so is the reality of another year behind.  My brother, Rob, only had forty-one of them.  Birthdays.  He should have had more.  Many, many more.  He should have eaten more cake.  Mine and his own.  His birthday was in July, too.  And honestly, Life, I feel like he got ripped-off.   I feel like I was also deprived of the rest of his life, but who am I to determine these things.  So I think about him when I blow out my own candles, and I envision that little black smudge of fading smoke that rises up into the air, as a wish for peace.  Mine and his, everyones.
Last week when Mark and I were walking on the beach searching for sea glass, I came across this leftover bit of ribbon which was tangled in amongst the rocks.  And while we usually pick up small pieces of trash that are left behind on the beach, I couldn't help but leave this one where I found it.  For there are many people who might have needed to see this message which was accidently, on purpose, left between the stones on the beach.  Messages have their own ways of finding the individuals whom they are meant for.  This seemed like a message for many.

Dear Life,

Please always let me take the time to notice the messages.  And the lessons.  And the hellos from the Universe.  We miss so much when we forget to notice.

They say that life is what you make of it.  I fight, with all of my spirit, to live a contented life filled with as much love as I can bring in.  And then, I release it back out.  When I was eighteen years old, I met the love of my life.(But of course, you already knew that.)  We set out to build a marriage filled with joy and adventure and love.  Our quest brought us four incredible angel daughters.  Each one is unique.  Each one is special.  Each one is a product of love.  You certainly trumped my wildest dreams there, Life.

I never could have imagined this beautiful family.  These extraordinary individuals.  Five distinct people that I love more than life(sorry, but true) itself.

Dear Life,

Thank you.

In celebration of my birthday, all four of my angel daughters came home to spend the day with me.  There is nothing that I look forward to more, these days, as they get older and busier and more independent.  We traveled south down to San Diego to a lovely, little town called Solana Beach.  Truly, I love Angel Daughter Number Three's pink high-topped sneakers.  Watching each one of my girls develop their own personal style is something that amuses me.  When they were little, I dressed them all alike.  It was the cutest thing I've ever seen.  Everyday, four little ducklings in matching outfits.  Some people worried that they would never develop their own, individual styles because of my guilty pleasure.  But if there is one thing that you have taught me, Life, it is to follow my own instincts about things.  Not only have they each refined their own personal style, but they are very original in everything that they do.  Angel Daughter Number Four, my youngest daughter, even shaves the hair over one side of her ear.  And she wears it very well!

Now if this baby isn't an original, I do not know who is!

While shopping, my girls spotted this sweet fairy baby.  We all "oohed and cooed" over her which made me very happy because I know that my babies love babies, too!  This ensures that I will someday have grand-babies to love on in the future!  Which, dear Life, is something that I would very much appreciate!

We visited a nursery and discovered a giant cage filled with the most wonderful birds.  Little nests overflowed with the most beautiful doves.  We tried to count how many were in the nest above, but there were babies hiding underneath the babies!

These unusual Quails nest by creating a hollow in the ground and then the babies burrow underneath the parents.  Our whole family sat for at least twenty minutes admiring this cage filled with sweet, chirpy birds.  The doves make that low, melodic cooing sound, the kind that tends to melt your heart.  And the smaller birds chit-chatted in that high-pitched chirpy way.  They were absolutely mesmerizing.

Dear Life,

Please always remind me that there is always time to be mesmerized.  And fascinated.  And to learn something new.

We then made our way over to a lovely Farmer's Market teeming with fresh, organic produce, flowers and handmade trinkets.  We snacked on delicious goat cheese samples and chocolate toffee covered in almond bits.  We purchased some gorgeous yellow cherries which tasted like sunshine, and brought home some tomatoes, baby potatoes and blueberries.

Angel Daughter Number Four rescued a fuzzy, little caterpillar while AD3 giggled and took her picture.

Angel Daughter Number Two, who was having a particularly rough day at first:(, couldn't help but smile after a while.  Sometimes, I will do the silliest things which tend to annoy her, in order to see those adorable dimples.  But I don't give up easily, because seeing my daughters happy is what life is all about.

Dear Life,

Please remind my daughters that sometimes, old boyfriends need to be brought out with the trash where they belong.

Enough said.

Angel Daughter Number One browsed through the jewelry with her youngest sister.  I cannot help but look at my children through a "mother's eyes".  Each one of them fascinates me in a way that enriches my heart and makes me want to capture the moments.  The little moments that often go unnoticed.  The little moments when we are all together and life is good.  Very, very good.

And I can quietly view them through the lens of my camera.  Capturing their innate beauty and sometimes, unconventional distinctiveness.

Dear Life,

Please remind my daughters that feeling confident in their own skin is more important than what anybody else might think of them.  And that following a "trend" makes you exactly that.  A follower.

On the way home, we thankfully sped easily past the border patrol station.  For people who do not live in a state "bordering" another country, you might not be familiar with these interesting little points of contention.  For those of you who do, you can understand the frustration of going from sixty-five miles per hour, down to zero, in order for an officer to peek inside of your car to do a bit of racial profiling.

Thankfully, this racial profiling only occurs at random times of the day, so when you are lucky, you are able to zip right by without barely a second glance.

Enough said, again:)

Once we got past the border patrol station, we drove past the San Onofre nuclear power plant which is  also lovingly known as Dolly Parton by some locals.

Dear Life,

Sometimes even nuclear power plants can be funny in a really silly way.

On July 4, 1776, the forefathers of our country signed a declaration: The Declaration of Independence.

The words, in part, go like this; We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.  As do most Americans, I take these words very seriously.  We fought for our ability to lead independent lives.  To create our own paths on this journey.  To pursue our own happiness.  For myself and for those who have come before me, I will lead a happy life.  For my brother, I will continue to pass his legacy down to his daughters and nieces.  For me, I will fight with all of my might to be content.

And I will jump for joy in knowing that I have lived another year on this earth.  Another year loving on the people who I care about.  And another year learning a bit more about how to really live.

Dear Life, Dear America, Dear Me,

Happy Birthday!

                                                              *July 4, 2010-San Clemente Pier Fireworks

Solitude/Loneliness

To me, this is what solitude looks like.  Solitude is quiet.  Solitude is transformative.  Solitude is a place away from much of the excess noise of life.  Solitude is desirable.  And yet, one of the synonyms for the word solitude is loneliness.  Something that carries with it a very negative connotation.  Solitude seems to be seclusion by choice.  Loneliness implies that someone might feel shut out of the world by exclusion.  Two words that carry the same basic meaning, yet when compared to one another, the words solitude and loneliness mean very different things.
Standing on the bluff in front of my home on the fourth of July, I felt a sudden surge of loneliness that caught me by surprise.  I was not alone, Mark, Angel Daughter Number Three and her boyfriend were all present with me.  My neighbors were all outside, talking, laughing and enjoying the beautiful firework display.  But towards the end of the display, I decided to remain outside to watch other shows that could be seen in the distance.  It was then that it struck me.  Loneliness.
On any given day, I can step outside to view the huge expanse of sunlit glass which stretches out before me, and experience nothing but peace.  I can take in the inherent smallness of being a single, human soul while still feeling somehow connected.  I can breathe in the breeze that comes in off of the ocean, teeming with the scents of life.  I can even perceive the relationship that I have to the massive flocks of seabirds who float effortlessly on the surface of the water searching for food.
And in viewing those seabirds which congregate by the hundreds, their presence emotes in me a solitude that is nowhere near a feeling of loneliness.  I am alone, but I am in no way lonely.
Other days, the scene might change, but my feeling of comfortable solitude does not.  I might stand ashore watching sailboats carrying their sailors out to sea, but once again, I feel a sense of connection.  The feeling that we are all bound by that particular moment in time.  A simple snapshot, in which everything and everyone appears as it should be.  Solitude in unison.
And when I walk the beaches, the discovery of a single, brilliant piece of seaglass can draw me out of any sense of loneliness that I might be experiencing.  Each tiny piece, a reminder to me that I am never alone.  Not really.  
Yet, sometimes, even in the midst of large crowds of people and exploding fireballs of color raining down from the sky, it is possible to feel very, very lonely.  And that is okay.
It is okay because loneliness and solitude are two sides of the very same coin.  And sometimes, when solitude becomes a little bit too familiar, loneliness steps in to keep us from becoming overly reclusive.  Sometimes, we need sudden moments of loneliness in order to remind ourselves of how important it is to stay connected to other people.  Like a small piece of seaglass that turns up in precisely the right place on the path that we are walking, moments of loneliness can also turn up as an important reminder to stay balanced.

This Thursday, July 9, will be my forty-seventh birthday.  Angel Daughter Number One shared a bit of her soul-felt wisdom with me, the other day, by reminding me that a birthday is a time to celebrate oneself.  It often amazes me that such words of awareness, can come from someone so young in years.  So, in order not to allow myself too much solitude on my birthday, I am announcing it here.  In the coming year, I intend to celebrate not only those whom I love and adore, but myself, as well.  It is time.  And life is not never-ending.  Thank you for dropping that bit of seaglass wisdom in my path, AD1.