All is Well

Have I told you all how much I appreciate your friendship and your kindness and all of the love that you share with me?  Sitting here with a cat on my lap(fighting for the attention of my hands as I try to type sentences that make sense!) and a dog at my feet, I am inundated with a feeling of gratitude not only for those who physically surround me, but also for those who surround me from faraway places.  I cannot tell you how many difficult days you have helped me to tackle.  I am a very, very lucky girl.

We spent the week up in the gorgeous mountains of Lake Arrowhead.  When our Angel Daughters were little, Mark and I decided to purchase a second home up there because we had grown up with snowy winters and wanted our girls to experience a bit of the white stuff.  This home has been a part of our family for fourteen years(so many wonderful memories) yet for the past two years, Mark and I had not been up there at all.  Dance competitions, work schedules and just life in general dominated our weekends and driving the almost two hours made it very difficult.  We used to go up for every Thanksgiving.  My best friend since junior high school who now lives in Las Vegas would meet us up there with her three children and we would share the holiday as one big family.  Well, as the children got older, other obligations disrupted our tradition.  Two of her children got married and went on to have babies.(whom I absolutely adore!)  They needed to remain closer to home so that they could split the holidays with in-laws, etc.  Last year I felt like I needed to be out of town for the holiday so we took the girls up to San Francisco for the week.  We had a lovely time, but some of the girls(you know who you are) complained that I was not making the traditional turkey dinner on Thanksgiving and that preparing it on another day was not the same thing!  So up the mountain we went with two new boyfriends, one very old boyfriend(Is seven years a long time for a twenty one year old to be in a relationship?) and a sweet girlfriend whose family was going to be tied up with her brother's hockey tournaments all weekend.  Mark took everyone skiing/snowboarding, we ate, we shopped, we laughed, but most of all, we had a really wonderful time.  The higher altitude did take its toll on my body but that was a small price to pay to spend Thanksgiving in the mountains with my husband and our girls.  I have stories to share but those will come later.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with love, good food and lots of laughter.  I just wanted everyone to know that I am still here, fighting the good fight, living contently in spite of.    Battling the pain while soaking in every single joyful moment possible, trying my best not to give in to the focus that the aches can sometimes overshadow.  I am here.  Once again, thank you for visiting, for checking in on me, for your kind words and your sweet emails, for caring.  I only hope that you know that I feel the same way about you that you do about me.  It truly is my pleasure.  I plan on visiting, catching up and saying hello in the next couple of days.  Until then, just know that you are on my mind and in my heart, always.

The Other Side of Angels or Why the (most days)?

*a tiny bit PG

It usually begins like this.  Momma asks very, very, very nicely to take a picture of her four Angel Daughters together.  Then they moan and complain about having to stand still for more than ten seconds while Mom checks the viewfinder to make sure that everyone is behaving appropriately and that there's no funny business going on.

Then, the funny business begins.

And mysteriously travels from one Angel Daughter to the next, causing Momma to twitch involuntarily while trying to keep the camera still.

Next, the huddle.  This is when a language, which is only understood by sisters, is spoken and a plan is conceived.

Laughter ensues and even though I know that I have reached the point of no return, I plead with them to just pose for one more picture!

More sisterly giggling as they prepare to unleash their sinister plan.

I only had a younger brother so I am not necessarily privy to the devious minds of sisters.  The worst thing that my brother would do would be to make bunny ears behind my head, or refuse to stand within several feet of me because of the cootie possibility.  But sisters, they are definitely a different progeny.

They are willing to unite forces in order to witness Momma's hair turning grey right before their very eyes.

But this is when a moment of madness turns into a secret deepening of love in my heart disguised as exasperation.  Because I know that they love each other so much.  And I know that they speak a special language that only four united souls will ever truly understand.  And I also know, that they are sometimes willing to share that language with me in order to "let me in".

Four Angels Momma(most days).  This is my life and I would not have it any other way.

Snow Angels

An unexpected snowstorm swept across the San Bernardino mountains a couple of days after Thanksgiving, this year. For us Californians, this was not only a remarkable surprise but a gift of aberrant beauty. Although our rainy season is sometimes known to begin in the month of November, it usually does not bring any snow until early January. Over the past decade or more that we have been spending our Thanksgivings in Lake Arrowhead, this is only the second one in which we have received snow. Instead of putting on our sneakers to take a warm autumns hike in the gorgeous mountain air, my Angel Daughters and my husband put on their snowsuits and braved the snow. Waking up to the white stuff was absolutely glorious!

I heard the sounds of my family outside, before I spotted them. They were laughing and screaming with delight as they sleigh-rode down the hills by our home. When I opened the window to call out to them, Angel Daughter Number Four, looking much to me like she did when she was ten, came trudging up the hill to throw snowballs at me.
Soon after, my rosy-cheeked little Angel fell backwards into the snow to create a perfect snow angel!
At fifteen and more than a half years old, I am so grateful that she continues to hold on to her playful spirit. Oftentimes, teenagers take themselves far too seriously and they forget what it feels like to play. AD4 not only left behind a lovely snow angel, but she also left a wonderful imprint on my memory.
Since we do not get to spend as much time at our mountain home as we used to, the days that we do get to spend there are precious. This is the road that leads up to our cabin. Even just looking at it, brings a sigh of relief to my soul. For me, it is another place of quiet contentment.
Angel Daughter Number Four giggles as she plays hide and seek with her boyfriend, Jacob. She likes to tuck herself snugly into the top bunk of the bunk-beds. And although seventeen can sometimes be a broody age, AD3 can often be silly.(especially when Jacob is around!)
These are the moments that I could freeze forever. Angel Daughter Number Four has always loved playing with people's hair. When she was little, she used to sit on my bed and brush my hair. Now she likes to style her sister's hair. Angel Daughter Number Two receives a cute braid from AD4. So sweet.
Angel Daughter Number One always warms my heart with her smile. I love the way that she is always willing to share it with me, even when I interrupt her while she is in the middle of something else. Thank you for your patience, sweetie!
Micah, our Rottweiler, Doberman, Pit-Bull puppy is now ten months old. Although the breeds which make up his genetics are thought to be more aggressive, the only aggression this boy shows is in his constant need to love and be loved. When we were searching for a dog to rescue, I was sure that I did not want to adopt a Pit-Bull. Unfortunately, the pounds and rescue organizations are absolutely full of them. It is my belief that most of them are lovable, smart dogs who just need proper parents, but with all of our other pets, and lots of kids coming and going, I did not feel that our home would be a proper fit for a Pit-Bull. When we found Micah, we were told that he was a Rottie-Lab mix. As he grew(very rapidly!), Mark and I decided to have him genetically tested. There was NO way in the world that we wanted to get rid of him, but I felt that it was important to find out which breeds we might be dealing with. We wanted to make sure that he had proper training, if indeed, he turned out to be a Pit-Bull. When the veterinarian called to let us know the results of Micah's DNA test, he laughed because this gentle giant of a soul turned out to be not only Rottie, not only Pit-Bull, but Doberman, as well! Our vet described him as a "Drug Lord's Dream"! We do know, for a fact, that Micah's abandoned mother, as well as two other dogs who were left on the property, came from an area that is well-known for drug problems. Unfortunately, these dogs are often bred to be macho or worse.(Hello, Michael Vick...) Micah, his mother, two sisters and three brothers were rescued by an incredible organization which would only adopt them out after some very stringent background checks. They did not want these puppies to turn out to be what they were most likely, bred to become. We were so lucky to be matched up with this wonderful pup. And I am now a little bit sad that I had ruled out Pit-Bulls before ever getting to know one. I am a true believer in life presenting us with lessons that we are meant to learn from. Micah is one of my teachers.
Angel Daughter Number Two brought her little devil of a kitten, Rex. He is another rescue. She found him when he was only a few weeks old, abandoned and shivering on the grass near her apartment building. Immediately, it was love.
This is my old girl, Becca. She just turned eleven and is suffering from some crippling arthritis in one of her back legs. She is a good old girl and she owns my heart. With the help of prednisone and pain killers, she still gets around fairly well. I fall in love with my husband, Mark, all over again, each time I watch him carry her up and down the stairs. She weighs sixty pounds and is quite squirmy to hold. But Mark patiently lugs her around when he has to so that she can be by my side. She and I make quite the pair!
Angel Daughter Number Two's boyfriend, Sol, drove up to join us when it was first beginning to snow. He spent Thanksgiving with his family(good boy), and then came up to be with his girl. AD2 told me that when she asked Sol to get her a glass of juice, his reply was, "What baby wants, baby gets." Now that is the type of man who is worthy of one of my daughters:)
We decided to brave the cold and the snowstorm to go down to the lake by our home. Lake Arrowhead is a cute, little town with the lake being the center of it. There are some shops and restaurants there, but mostly it is a nice place to walk around. The snowstorm was lovely for visitors, but absolutely terrible for the businesses in the area. It took place on the day after "Black Friday" which caused most people to stay home. It was very sad to see all of the employees standing around on a day when things were supposed to be busy!
We did do some shopping as there were some fantastic sales. Of course my girls decided to be goofy! Another reason why I love them so, so much.
I decided to take some photos to use on our holiday cards. My girls only like posing for photos when they decide the time is right, but I got a few cute ones. They like to make fun of me because it takes me a while to press the shutter button, but that is only because I have to examine each one of them to make sure that there is no funny business going on! There is at least one in every group! They can be very sneaky little angels! But then again, another reason why I love them...
I'm not sure where the ducks are supposed to go when the weather turns, but it seems that these guys were just as surprised by the early snowstorm as the humans were. There had to be a couple hundred of them, but they don't go hungry because all of the shops sell bags of duck food.
Here is my youngest duckling feeding some of the ducks who came up to greet us.
The big guy in the middle made us all laugh!
After the snowstorm subsided, the sunlight shone through the branches of the enormous pine trees. There is something about the way in which the branches diffuse the light that creates such a beautiful sense of peace. If you don't already do so, try to pay attention to the way in which light can evoke your different senses. I am not sure that I began doing this until fairly recently, and it causes me to view things in such a different way. It is almost like discovering a color or even a scent that I never noticed before. Noticing the light awakens something within my spirit which might have been sleeping silently before.
Trees, that are hundreds of feet tall, tower gracefully over our cabin. They create shade below, but when you look up, it is blue. So beautifully blue.
A lone pine cone dangles precariously from a young tree. A sign of growth and regrowth and more growth to come.
Angel Daughter Number Two(our resident professional-grade photographer) noticed the sunset over the city below. She said that she could look at it for days and days. I have to agree.

Life looks a bit different at around six thousand feet above sea level. The air is thinner, the weather is cooler, and sometimes, if you are really lucky, the unexpected happens. An extraordinary snowstorm flurries down from the heavens like the tiny feathers off of an angel's wings. And you get to create snow angels for Thanksgiving. Or you get to observe them from above. Or, you get to spend several days tucked warmly into a cozy cabin with your family while sitting by a fire and throwing a stuffed toy back and forth with your Rottweiler, Pit-Bull, Doberman puppy.