And You're Gonna Love Me

Becca, our eleven year old Dalmatian/Lab, is not exactly a patient pup.  Each afternoon at four forty-five, she looks at me with wild, bulging eyes and barks.  Incessantly.  It isn't her regular, "There's a stranger lurking" bark.  Nope, that would not be effective enough.  It's her, "If you do not feed me now, I WILL STARVE TO DEATH RIGHT THIS MINUTE" bark.  Very effective.   In the fall when we set the clocks back an hour, she forgets to bark at me for a couple of days, but then, her tummy catches on to the time change thing(silly humans) and we are back on schedule again.

Becca is fairly particular about who she allows into her inner circle.  There are people whom she has known for years who she still looks at with a leery eye.  And regardless of how many times we reintroduce her to them, she barks at them when they first come in.  She would never bite, but she is a pretty vocal gal who is deeply devoted to her people.

Enter Jersey.  Jersey is one of two Cornish Rex kitties that Mark gave me after our twenty-one year old feral cat, Chloe, passed away several years ago.  My heart was broken and Mark knew that bringing new babies into my life would help me to heal.  We usually adopt from shelters or rescue organizations, but after doing some research on cats with exceptional personalities, Mark decided to bring home these fearless little furless furballs.  Callie and Jersey are not your typical cats.  First off, they look a little bit like bats or aliens, with their gigantic ears and eyes.  They have only one layer of fur(most cats have three) and the little fur that they do have is curly and soft like velour.  Cornish Rex cats also have some quirky personality traits.

They are acrobats and clowns, but they also love to be LOVED.  Jersey came into our family thinking that everyone, and that includes Becca, should love him as much as he loves them.  There is no negotiating.  There is no vote.  You simply WILL accept his love!

Jersey does not care if he is rubbing you the wrong way...

As a matter of fact, your moment of complaint gives him the perfect opportunity to clean himself.

Which he does...

Until Becca stops that incessant growling sound.

At which point, the rubbing recommences.

Becca has learned to put up with this irritation.  She has somehow come to understand that Jersey's display of affection is not necessarily a bad thing.  Annoying, yes, but tolerable on some level.

Maybe she realizes that he needs it.  Possibly it is because he knows that she needs it.  In spite of her complaints, Jersey continues to rub away.  There seems to be a symbiotic connection which exists between these two that allows them to sense what the other one might be needing.  And they allow the other one to express and fulfill that need.(However annoying.)

After Jersey struts away, Becca is left to contemplate what just happened.  I have to laugh at the look of annoyance on her face.  I probably look that way to her when she barks her "Feed me!" bark each night. But patience comes in many forms.  With our pets, it might be in the clean-up that comes with pet ownership.  It might come in the form of deciphering the different barks or meows that they use to get our attention.  Or, it might come during the times that one of us needs affection, and looks toward the other one to provide it.

Relationships can be as complicated or as simple as we decide to make them.  Oftentimes, it can be as easy as reading the small cues that others provide for us.  For this Dalmatian/Lab pup and her Cornish Rex buddy, the lesson is fairly simple.  If someone rubs you the wrong way, the true message may get lost in the translation.  Try to view them with a patient eye.  They will either go away, or you will become better friends.  Either way, you will be no worse for the wear in the end!(and you might even like it!)

Chanukah and Living in the Light

 Chanukah, the Festival of Lights, is the celebration of the first battle that was fought over religious freedom.  Over twenty-one centuries ago, the Jewish people living in Greece were being forced to forgo their religion by the ruling emperor.  Although the Jewish population was small in number, there was a group of Jews who decided to battle against the Greek army in order to defend the rights of their people to worship only one God.  The story is told that the very small band of Jewish warriors were able to defeat the large Greek forces, thereby taking back their rights to observe their own religion.  After the Jews won the war, they needed to rededicate the Temple and make it holy for worship, again.  The problem was that they only had enough oil to keep the Temple lit for one day.  They needed much more than that. The oil ended up lasting for eight days, allowing enough time for the Temple to be rebuilt.  Thus, a miracle had occurred.

The reason that we celebrate Chanukah for eight days is to commemorate the miracle which occurred during ancient times.  Chanukah is a celebration of the battle of good over evil, a few against many, light against darkness.  It is a time when friends and family get together to spend time with one another.  Conversely to what most people believe, Chanukah is not one of the main holidays in Judaism.  It has only become more emphasized to keep up with the elaborate gift-giving and decorating traditions of Christmas.  It is a lovely holiday, but it is a minor one, according to Jewish custom.  It is not the Jewish Christmas.  Sadly, for a holiday that is meant to rekindle the importance of religious freedom, Chanukah has become a way for many Jews to assimilate into society by overemphasizing the gift-giving and more commercial aspects of the holiday.  It is customary to give small gifts on each night of Chanukah when the Menorah(the candle holder) is lit.  There is, however, no such thing as a Chanukah bush.

This year, we shared Chanukah with many friends and family members.  We always enjoy introducing the holiday to those whom have never celebrated it before.  Most of my Angel Daughter's friends are Christian, but they really enjoy coming over to our house to light the Menorah.  The middle candle is called the Shamesh.  It is the "helper candle".  Its purpose is to light the other candles on each successive night.  That is why you will always find nine candles on a Menorah.  The Shamesh, or helper candle, is always raised.  There are many reasons for this, but my favorite reason is that helping others is what brings us closer to God.  When we help someone else's light shine, we are doing one of the greatest things that we can do.  We are bringing even more light into a world which is sometimes very dark.

This picture was taken on the eighth night of Chanukah.  Our dear friend, Chy, lit the candles for us.  I love the looks on the girls faces.  Precious.

Angel Daughter Number One was able to come home from Los Angeles to celebrate the first night of Chanukah.  It is getting harder and harder for us all to get together at the same time.  Good thing there are eight nights!  Angel Daughter Number Three's boyfriend, Jacob(who looks very handsome in his firefighting uniform), enjoyed his first Chanukah with us.

Angel Daughter Number Two brought her devil-kitty, Rex, home for her winter break.  Jacob thought that he could include Rex in a nice picture of him and AD3.  Oops!

On the seventh night of Chanukah, all four of my Angel Daughters and their boyfriends were home for dinner.  We also invited my Mother and her husband.  It was nice for the girls to have their grandparents there.

There is so much to celebrate in life, so much to be grateful for.  As my family concludes this celebration of Chanukah, I am reminded that there is still a battle that I must fight. Because as bright as the lights are throughout my days, there are two little lights which are still missing(although they will always burn brightly within my heart).  And the love that we feel for them...The connection that we will always have with them cannot be extinguished by anger, fear or hate.  My prayer is that next Chanukah, we will all be together, as we always have been.  My prayer is that my beloved brother will pull whatever strings he can from where he is, to ensure that this tug-of-war with my sister-in-law will end soon.  My prayer is that next year, this story will have an ending similar to that of the Chanukah story.  Good over bad, light overshadowing darkness, love eclipsing hate.  The miracles of everyday life.  My prayer...