I was once told by someone who professed to be psychic, that I had spent many a lifetime with this child. In our most recent incarnation, many moons before this one, the clairvoyant described a very heart-wrenching scene. In it, I am standing on a beach wearing a grey jacket, clutching my baby, this baby, desperately in my arms. As we look on in helpless desperation, Mark(my loving husband in this lifetime, and apparently in many others) rushes out into the waves to help rescue people who have been in some sort of a boating accident. As we look on in tearful resignation, we watch as the treacherous waves consume my husband's body, taking him down with the very individuals he was trying to save. I am left standing alone on the beach with my baby. We cling to one another, crying hysterically, as the vision of this past lifetime comes to a close. And while I am still not entirely sure that I am convinced of the validity of this past-life synopsis, my heart pounds unevenly and my hands shake slightly, as I recreate this vision.
Interestingly enough, the woman who described this scene went on to tell me that Mark and I were supposed to go on to have many other children during that particular lifetime, but that his life was cut short because of free-will. She said that one of the reasons that we got together and married young, during this lifetime, was to complete our family and to live the life we were meant to live way back when. We discussed the very intense connection that I have always had with Angel Daughter Number Two. We talked about her need to test our love in a sort of push-me, pull-me kind of way that has always created excitement within our family. And we talked about whether the pain and anguish of what happened before could cause my need to keep those I love, very safe and very close during this lifetime.
While I had this conversation with the psychic on a lark, I could not help but walk away with the feeling that she had seen something that I had long forgotten about. Somewhere, in a very deep cellular place within my body, something about this story rang a bell of familiarity. A glimmer of recognition reverberated throughout my soul, and I thought, what if? What if...
As I scrolled through the photos I shot last weekend, this one made me stop and reflect. The thing about this photo is that she is not looking at the camera. She is looking at me. My daughter, my monkey, my second Angel, my child. Pupils slightly dilated, eyes set on eyes, we are connected. The photo is what brought me back to the story.
What connects us to those we love? How do certain individuals stop us in our tracks while others pass through with barely a second glance? Why do some people feel like home? For me, there has always been so much more than what just lies in front of us. There is something that connects us on a level which we cannot even begin to understand. A level that knows without seeing and sees without knowing. A bigger picture which comes through the camera of life, but which stares right into our souls.
Does knowing this story have any real affect on how Angel Daughter Number Two, myself and Mark relate to one another? Not so much. But in many ways, it surely explains a lot.
Posts
