I am Safe

                                                                        *sunset over the Pacific, November 14, 2012

I am feeling strangely ensconced within a deep cocoon of security today, as if I am being gently cradled in a place where I am safe and warm and nothing amiss can touch me or the ones that I love.  This is a feeling that I welcome.  I am allowing it to wash over my soul like a soothing stream of warmth.  It emanates from my heart, it radiates outward.  I feel it everywhere as it lavishes from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head.  I am not at all sure what brought this on as today is just an ordinary day but I so badly want to hold onto this feeling.  I want to somehow transmit it to the people that I love.  To you.  And yet, after the past couple of months that I have had, I do know that discourse often bubbles like a thermal geyser just below the grounds surface, ready to erupt without a moments notice.  I am no pollyanna.  I readily acknowledge that even as I sit here bathed in a soothingly soft blanket of comfort that there is trouble in the world and sadness and pain but in this moment, I am feeling shielded from that, and I am grateful, so grateful.  

Happy one week until Thanksgiving.  May you, too,  feel the blessings in your life.

Being Grateful

Our hometown is San Clemente, CA where we share our streets with a lot of very vibrant, very young Marines.  These eager young people come here from all over the country, training to be strong warriors for our nation and yet, so many of them have the baby faces of kids, barely out of high school.   In the heart of our hometown there is a small downtown area which houses several small barber shops and if you were to pass by one of these shops on any given day, you would see the faces of these young people, bodies draped with smocks while receiving touch-ups on their short, military regulated style haircuts.  It never, ever fails to strike me that most of these individuals are just kids.  Just young people who are the same ages as my four girls who are 18, 20, 22, and 24.  It is quite sobering to consider the strength of character and courage that is must take to leave your home, leave your family and friends, leave your childhood dog, to embark upon a journey which most certainly will place you within harm's way.  And yet, these young men and women do this voluntarily.  There is a lot that can be said for teenagers these days.  Too many television shows about being pregnant and 16.  Too many kids leading undirected, floundering lives because of parents who do not care enough to be home when their child arrives home from school at the end of the day.  Too many material advantages.  But, when you live in an area in which there is a strong military presence, you get to witness another side of things.  You get to see young people, teenagers really, bearing the countenance of something much more stoic and  noble because they are representing this great country and even at their very young ages, they understand the responsibility that comes along with that.  

Mark and I often see our young Marines down at the local Denny's or IHOP.  Most recently, we encountered four young men getting out of a taxicab to go eat a meal at the local IHOP and it struck me that these guys were willing to spring for a taxi in order to enjoy a meal that most likely, reminded them of something that they might do in their own hometowns.  As Mark opened my car door so that I could hop in, he pulled some money out of his pocket and then followed these young men back inside.  I watched as Mark put his hand on one of the young men's shoulders and talked to the group for a moment.  I then observed as prideful smiles came over their faces and they backed up a bit in sort of a thank you, but no thank you sort of way.  A bit of discussion ensued and finally, I watched as Mark slipped the money into one of the young men's palms.  We drove away knowing that we had just taken care of the sons of four families of whom we were very grateful to for sharing them with this great nation.  It was the very least that we could do.  Living in this town, this is something that we get the great opportunity to do quite often and it is our honor, a very big honor.

As we go through this Memorial Day enjoying family, friends and good times, I hope that more people will take the time to stop and remember the young people who are serving our country.  They are the sons and daughters of brave families who cherish them enough to allow them to become warriors so that we can all feel safer.  If you have the opportunity to buy a meal for a member of our armed services, do it.  If not, think about making a donation to an organization that supports these courageous individuals.  It is up to all of us to make these young men and women feel appreciated and supported.  And next time you encounter a member of our armed services in a grocery store or an airport, say thank you and watch as they take your appreciation in.  It will mean as much to you as it does to them.

Happy Memorial Day, friends.

Taking Flight-Happy 22nd Birthday

*Self portrait by Angel Daughter Number Two

Angel Daughter Number Two celebrated her twenty-second birthday yesterday.  She has always been my free-spirited child, twinkle in her eye and a purpose in her step.  I spent many years chasing after this child(exhausting at times!), trying to make sure that she wasn't running too fast for her own good.  If my other three Angel Daughters were standing below the tree staring up at it, I knew that this one was already at the top trying to go higher before I even looked.  Not always a good thing for a mother's heart!  But with all of the excitement came adventure and jubilant laughter and sweet moments, very sweet moments, and as I prepare to go out to dinner with my entire family to celebrate this child, I am filled with nothing but love and gratitude.  Gratitude for my husband, gratitude for the qualities that he imbued upon AD2, qualities that I imparted, gratitude that our girl is growing up healthy and creative and strong enough to take on her own dreams at such a young age.  Gratitude that God trusted us enough to parent all of our beautiful daughters.

Happy, happy Birthday, AD2.  I love you more than I could ever express in words.  You are simply amazing.

Below is a link to the online layout(the hardcopy is even better) and a video that AD2 made to commemorate her latest fashion spread in Palm Springs Life magazine.  It is an eight page layout(!) filled with absolutely gorgeous photos that she shot a couple of months ago.  Her vision is what makes the models and the clothing take on a life of their own.  She has the eye of someone who is well beyond her twenty-two years.  I am so happy for her.  Watching her take flight has been both an honor and a privilege.  I am one very proud momma.

Thank you for supporting my girl.  She definitely appreciates it, too.  Enjoy!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5MZUhXgEP0&feature=youtu.be

http://www.palmspringslife.com/Palm-Springs-Life/January-2012/Spring-into-Color/

Gratitude For You

As the waves crash up against my life, I feel like I sent out some distress signals which were answered by so many compassionate and concerned friends.  And in the answers came strength, comfort and understanding.  There is a collective woman-soul(This includes certain men who are very comfortable with women.  You know who you are:)) which crosses over boundaries, differences and even the Internet.  There is a language spoken that whispers to us and helps us to fly past the obstacles and into a clearing of better understanding.  In so many ways, the individuals who I have met as a result of this blog, have ushered me into a space of clearer understanding.  We may all be on different paths during this lifetime, but so much of each other's story feels familiar.  We listen to one another.  We care for one another and we reach out when someone is wounded.

And as the waves crash in, I am so blessed to be pulled away from the undertow by kind souls like you.  Your words, like floating buoys of respite, cradle my tired spirit until I am able to swim my way back to gentler seas.  Thank you for allowing me to admit that even though there are some things that will never be, I can search for and find comfort in places I never even expected.

Almost Heaven...

Our Angel Family enjoyed the Thanksgiving weekend in Lake Arrowhead. For more than the past decade, we have spent every Thanksgiving up here exactly a few thousand feet closer to heaven. Sometimes we come up alone and sometimes, we come up with our dearest friends. Either way, wonderful memories are made.

For only the second time that I can remember, our beautiful mountains received their first covering of pristine, white snow while we were up here celebrating the holiday. And although our cabin was cozy and warm, we all decided to venture out in the snow! Our Four Angel Daughters, Angel Daughter Number Two's handsome new boyfriend, Mark and I, all bundled up to go shopping at the lake. Unfortunately for the stores in town, the surprise storm caused the Black Friday crowds to stay away. But for us, it was like having the town almost to ourselves. We had a lovely day!

I will post more photos when I get back down the mountain. Although everyone else drove home this morning to prepare for school and work, my old dog, Becca, and I decided to spend one more night admiring the moonlight reflecting off of the snow.

To all of my dear American readers, I hope that the wings of your hearts are still buoyant with the gratitude of some time well-spent. And to my lovely Australian, Canadian, Swedish and other worldwide readers, may your spirits be brightened by the approach of the coming holidays!

Love.

86,400 Seconds

From sunup to sundown, each day graces us with exactly 1440 minutes. 86,400 seconds. 24 hours. How many of these minutes, how many of these hours, how many of these precious, precious seconds do we spend remising about what is not? Gratitude is the anecdote for regret, remorse, and affliction. If we utter not another prayer during our seemingly busy days, a prayer of thanks would be enough. It would be enough...

On this day of gratitude, I must express that in spite of what is wrong with this world, there is so much that is right. If you would take a moment to leave me a comment about what is right in YOUR world, I would be ever so thankful. Happy, happy Thanksgiving.

*For a special post about gratitude, please stop by Laura's blog. She requested that people send her a few sentences about what they are grateful for and will be posting the responses on Thanksgiving Day. The results should be amazing.

And Yet Another Reason Why I Adore Blogging

Today, my spirit is singing a song of gratitude. In a world where so much can seem wrong, I am choosing to dwell on what is right. In a world where pain can so easily become the focus, I am choosing to feel a peaceful acceptance. And in a world where there are individuals who can treat others with such selfish, horrific disrespect, I am choosing to surround myself with those whose souls are healing and gentle. This is not to say that there are not days when I am overcome with sadness. There are. This is not to say that I am not a realist who knows how life can batter and bruise the human psyche. I do. But I also understand that no matter how hard things become, they can always get worse. Or better. And today, in this moment, I am choosing to believe in better.

This past weekend, Mark took me away to celebrate our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. These photos were taken in Santa Cruz and Carmel, CA. Two of the most beautiful places on earth. I will share more photos from the trip, soon, but for now I just wish to say thank you.
Thank you to all of my wonderful blogging friends. Welcome to my new ones! There is so much generosity of spirit in the blogging world. I am so grateful to have discovered a sense of community in a place that can seem so impersonal.
Thank you to my wonderful husband for taking me up into the clouds and then grounding me safely back on the earth, once again. EGBOK, my love.

Thank you to my beautiful Angel Daughters for keeping the nest well-feathered while we were gone. I am so very proud of each one of you. If I accomplish nothing else in this lifetime, being your Mother and being Daddy's wife will have deemed me a very successful woman.
When we arrived home from our trip, I spent a little time catching up on all of the daily stuff that builds up when you go away. Much to my delight, there was a package waiting for me when I went through the mail from Kathleen Botsford. Kathy is a very special blogger who also creates the most beautiful jewelry. I am humbled to say that she made this necklace just for me. She used African Turquoise and Swarovski crystals. It is beautiful, isn't it? Kathy's wonderful blog is about life, family and her own personal journey which she expresses through the most heartfelt words and spiritual artworks. Kathleen is a very honest, loving, and empathetic angel who always seems to know just what to say. If you haven't already had the pleasure of perusing her website, stop over there and say hello.
Kathy is truly somebody worth knowing. Thank you, sweet friend, for the gorgeous necklace and the beautiful postcards. I will cherish them, always, as I do you.

I also want to say thank you to two other fabulous bloggers. The first one is to a wonderful doctor who writes a blog which I have listed under my favorites. The site is How to Cope With Pain. It is extremely well-written and informative. This doctor, who chooses not to focus on her own identity because she is still in practice, is a compassionate, understanding and knowledgeable individual. I am very honored to say that one of my posts about spirituality and illness was featured on one of How to Cope With Pain's most recent blog-carnivals. If you ever need any information on dealing with pain(and who doesn't!), head over there and check out this blog. It is one of the best ones out there when it comes to learning more about pain.

I also would like to extend my gratitude to Laura from Shine the Divine. Laura has been on my blog roll for quite some time because I have always been able to find inspiration in her words and artwork. Recently, I discovered that Laura has been living with Multiple Sclerosis. She is in the midst of a terrible flare and will soon be starting a treatment regimen which will hopefully offer her renewed energy and spirit.(God willing.) Laura published one of her daughter's bittersweet poems, as well as some lovely photographs taken by her other daughter. She mentioned that she was inspired to share her beautiful daughters because of what she read here on my site. If you are in need of some inspiration, pop over to Laura's site. She has such an encouraging view on life. Thank you, Laura, for sharing your own Angel Daughters, as well as their blossoming creativity!

And to all of my other friends and faithful readers. You matter to me. I began writing as a way to work through my own thoughts, but one of the reasons that I continue writing is because of your support and encouragement.

Thank you.

The Gifts of Angels

I was reading a post by the incredibly gifted Irene today and it reminded me about something that I have wanted to share for the past couple of weeks.  Irene(a gifted poet and writer) received a little gift from one of her blogging friends and was extremely touched by the kindness.  She wrote about the loving thoughtfulness of bloggers and how it has impacted her life.  I must concur.

A couple of weeks ago, I received a little package in the mail.  The return address was from one of my favorite all-time blogging friends, Blue.  Many of you may know and recognize her.  She suspended writing on her blog for the past several months, but she has consistently stayed in touch which I am very, very happy about.  She is one of those individuals who always seems to have the kindest of words to share.  Her comments always concluded with a little heart symbol that always made me smile.  Blue is someone who is worth knowing.  She is kind-hearted, inspirational, beautiful and a wonderful writer and photographer.  *If she ever decides to start writing on her blog again, I will let you know.  

When I opened the package that Blue sent me, I found the little gold box pictured above.  Slowly, I untied the ribbon which was so lovingly placed, took off the lid.  My breath caught at the sight of the precious heart stone which was gently packed inside.  If you look at it closely, you will see that there is still bits of sand within the crevices of the heart.  I was so moved by the thought that Blue found this beautiful rock for me.
And then I removed the top layer of cotton to discover what was packed beneath.  Seaglass and seashells.  Recently, Blue went to Hawaii to visit with her sister and while walking on the beach, not only did she care enough to remember that I adore seaglass, but she spent the time to collect some for me.  I cannot tell you how this makes me feel.  It is indescribable.  
On the bottom of the box was a little hand-written note which I didn't discover until later on.  Another gift, discovered and cherished.  I was so moved by Blue's kindness.
I have carried the little gold box with me, back and forth to the beach.  Meticulously going through each small piece of beach ephemera, holding them in my hands and carefully placing them back into the box until the next time.  A special gift from a friend who I have never met personally, yet one of the most thoughtful presents that I have ever received in my life.  How does that happen?  We connect with someone who we have never met face to face, yet the connection is very heartfelt and true.

You all do that to me with your words, your comments, and your emails.  Each one is like a little box that I get to unwrap whenever I want or need to.  Thank you, Blue.  Thank you to my very special readers. 
Now I must introduce you to the latest little angel in our family.  This is two month old Micah.  We adopted him on Tuesday from a wonderful rescue organization.  It has taken us several months to find the right angel for our family because we take animal adoption very seriously.  There are way too many unwanted and unloved pets out there who are waiting for their forever homes.  The numbers are staggering.  They are in the millions.
This is our little starfish on the beach.  If you haven't heard that story, I promise to share it with you in a few days.  His story began very heartbreakingly, but because of some incredibly caring individuals with enormous hearts, it will not end that way.
As I ready myself for sleep, Micah is resting happily between Mark and I on our bed.  Becca, our sweet ten year old pup is sleeping sweetly on her bed to my other side.  My two youngest Angel Daughters are tucked safely in their beds.  My strongest prayers are with each one of my oldest Angel Daughters, as they navigate the world on adult-child terms.  Life is such a gift.  

I will be posting the information about the Energy Muse bracelet gratitude giveaway on Sunday.  I chose and ordered the special bracelet today and it is beautiful.  I know that it will end up on the wrist of the person who needs it the most, right now.  Life is like that.

Must snuggle with Micah and sleep now...

*Okay, so I just went to link my blog with Blue's blog and SHE'S BACK!!!!  Can I just say how happy I am.  Please pay her a visit.  You will meet one of the nicest bloggers on the web.  Blue, you snuck back in on me, silly rabbit!  I am so happy that you have returned!

Transformation and Rarity

As I have written about before, over the past several months I have felt somewhat of a compulsion to search for and collect sea glass.  I know, in my heart, that I am searching desperately for something else, something that I have not yet realized or discovered, but the sea glass provides a beautiful diversion to what it is that I might really be looking for.  Sea glass consists of small fragments of glass which have become reshaped and sometimes re-colored over many, many decades barely reminiscent of their original shape and form.  The glass somehow finds its way into the ocean(or sometimes rivers and lakes) either by human hand, shipwreck, or happenstance.  This leaves it open to the elements resulting in a metamorphosis that can be breathtaking.  Each tiny piece is a rarity in it's own right.  A small example of how something can begin as one thing, and then, over time, end up as another. I also collect other interesting bits and pieces during my long, meditative walks on the beach.  Seashells, rocks and other ephemera catch my eye.  I cannot help but marvel at the absolute beauty which the ocean gifts back to the beach.  To me, it is like a treasure chest filled with the most marvelous of wonders.  I wander the beaches with a feeling of reverence that sometimes overcomes me.
Last week, I came across this rock that is filled with holes, varying striations and remnants of shells that must have been inhabited by tiny sea creatures at one point in time.  I often find rocks which have holes burrowed straight through, but this one was quite an interesting piece.  It was like a miniature village of some sort which was once part of the ocean floor.  I am sure that at some point in time, it was just a smooth rock, but somehow over time it's surface changed.  It was remolded by the sea.  Small animals and shellfish turned it into something other than what it had started out as.  And then, one day I was walking down the beach and it showed up at my feet.  It now resides inside of my home and it is still changing.  When Mark began to examine it, yesterday, he turned it over to look at it from the bottom and as he did, sand poured out from the holes.  It is an ever-changing creation of nature which continues to evolve in subtle ways even as it is explored by humans.
As I sit here considering the shear wonder of how things change, I cannot help but be reminded about what we, as individuals, go through during our lifetimes.  We are shaped and reshaped over and over again.  Each one of our lives sculpt us into unmatched beings of rarity, and just as the sea glass, or the rock or a seashell can change it's form depending upon the elements which it is exposed to, we change in so many subtle and not so subtle ways over the course of our journeys.  Each one of us is a rarity that should not be taken for granted.  A work of art which is in the constant process of transitioning, adapting and shifting; resembling what we once were, but in many ways, not even close to looking like what we will someday be.

As a bit of an aside, I had to share something that I noticed about this rock after going through the pictures.  There is a heart(without the pointy bottom) carved at the base.  And somehow, whatever other message is derived, for me it often comes down to one thing, one very important, life-affirming thing.  Love.

A Self-Portrait or Not allowing the Waves to Drag You Down

Standing on this rock, yesterday, I looked down at my shoes(my very favorite beach shoes because they are great for climbing rocks) and watched as the ocean breathed in and then out, in and then out.  I felt somewhat safe and anchored from on top of my little perch which protected me from the oncoming movement of the tide.
The chilly saltwater gently approached my little haven of momentary security and settled at my toes, but only for a few brief seconds.  
It brought with it a foamy layer which carried surprises in from the sea.  I watched as this went on for a fairly long time, the ocean's steady breathing.

I thought about how most everything in our lives can be mimicked by nature.   Breathing, birth, loss, miracles and even calculated risk.  "Calculated risk", something I have often tried to teach my four Angel daughters about and have tried to balance in my own life, as well.  Knowing when to step forward and when to retreat.  Trusting your own instincts so that you don't end up falling on your bottom, soaking wet with sand down your pants.  Or worse, taking a step too far and being dragged out into a rip-tide, unable to recognize which end is up or down.
So as I waited for the water to retreat, once more, I jumped off of my rock and began to scurry happily(and still quite dry) away from the impending crash of the waves.  And as I stopped to snap just one more picture, there was the water where my toes once held their ground.

May I take this moment to express my heartfelt gratitude to all of my readers.  May I say thank you for the beautifully thought-out comments that you leave for me, and for the silent prayers and well-wishes when you don't.  I treasure every word, every prayer and every positive thought that is sent my way.  May you always find a safe place in which to weigh the risks.

Out of the Mouths of Babes or How to Make Amends

I snapped this photo of my husband and our Angel Daughter Number Four, last weekend at the beach.  I did so with a telephoto lens, because to intrude on the moment in any other way seemed, well, invasive.  When done correctly, there is something very special and personal about the relationship between a father and a daughter which can never be duplicated.  It is solid and natural and strong.

Tonight will be the first time that I have been allowed to see my nieces since the day my brother died six months ago.  They are so little.  Only five and nine years old.  They are fatherless.  I am brotherless.  Yet, when I spoke to my nine year old angel for over an hour, the other day, I felt such an undying connection between her heart and mine.  We talked a lot about her dad, my brother, because she wanted to.  We laughed, I made her promises which I will forever keep.  My family, me, my angels and Mark, will now be the conduit between these young daughters and their dad.  The only direct remaining bloodline between one generation and the next.  Angel Niece said to me in a very serious, beyond the maturity of a nine year old voice:

"You know Auntie Deb, I was the one who wanted my mother to make amens with you.  I told her that I couldn't take it anymore!  I want to see my Auntie Deb, I want to see my cousins, and I want to see my Uncle Mark!!!  I miss them!"  

I was absolutely dumbfounded by her resolute honesty.  After a moment, I quietly asked her what her mother said when she told her that.  And Angel Niece told me that her mom said she thought that was a good idea.

Nothing is ever exactly as it should be.  We lose people we love.  We move forward in spite of the gnawing pain.  We look for other ways, other people to help fill the void.  We spend time being grateful for what is, after the fall.  We move ahead.

May you find a way to fill the voids that rest heavy on your own heart and soul.  May you be comforted by the relationships that still are.  And may you take the advice of a nine year old girl and make amens while you still can, even if that only means doing so in your own heart.

Amen(s).

To Life

To be alive.  

To be able to express the feelings of love that we have for one another.  

To take a deep breath. 

To know, somehow, that there is something which is much larger than ourselves.  

To trust.  To feel.  To laugh.  

To observe another sunset.

To live with deep gratitude.

To share great sorrows, but know that there will always be more joy.

To embrace and share the Life Force which connects us all together.

To soar without knowing what might be ahead, but trusting, with all of your might, that the flight will take you where you are meant to go.

To life.

My wish for you is that your list includes an infinite amount of "to's".  It would be such an honor if you would share some of yours here.

With love and deep gratitude,

Debbie

The Healing Power of Kindness. My Deepest Gratitude.

My dear, dear blogging, and non-blogging friends. We are nesting ourselves back to better days. Although my heart remains heavier than any weight that I have ever carried, I am finding many blessings in which to take comfort. I could not come back to blogging without expressing my deepest appreciation for all of your kind, compassionate and supportive comments and emails. I read them over and over again, and with each word, I feel my spirit begin to strengthen. Every kindness that you have extended to me has enabled my heart to feel a little bit lighter.

Things are very complicated, right now, as my extended family is stuck in the anger of what has happened. This has created more pain and so much ridiculousness, that I cannot even fathom the direction from which they are coming. I can only pray for them as I do my very best to steer clear of their venom. I must protect myself and my family. You would think that a sudden and tragic death would teach them all about how precious time is, but unfortunately, it has not. I can only take what I have learned, and move forward. I have no other choice.

All of that being said, thank you for sticking with me. The "true-blueness" of your friendship is something that will remain with me, long after the pain subsides. I have never met a group of lovelier individuals. I feel your love and support, and there is absolutely nothing like it. This picture of our Cornish Rex kitties reminds me that ALL living things need companionship. Thank you for sticking close.

Love,
Debbie

Out of the Darkness

There are murky borders which divide the darkness and the light within our daily lives. Each day, many of us make a conscious decision as to which part of the spectrum we would like to dwell in for that day. The sky in this photo reminds me that although there is always black and white, there is also grey. For the most part, we tend to live within the grey portion of our lives, but now and again, we are pulled willingly, or unwillingly into the dark or the light.

Through this blog, I have often been pulled into the light. My heart has been launched by a thousand kind words. My spirit has taken flight on the wings of a single kind gesture timed just at the perfect moment. I am finding that, more and more, I look towards you to save me from falling head first into the darkness. Just knowing that you are there gives me the strength to combat the individuals in my life, who knowingly or unknowingly, try to drag my generally happy soul into the dark spaces in which they mostly reside. Sadly, these individuals are extended family members who tend to be cold, inconsiderate and mean-spirited. They test my optimistic outlook by jarring me out of my happy, little world. If being chronically ill has taught me nothing else, it has taught me not to allow others to bring me into the dark on days in which my pain has not achieved that by itself. I am learning that I can choose light over dark, happy over sad and good over not so good. I am learning that an ounce of genuine kindness from a stranger, is worth a ton of forced niceness from someone who is supposed to love you. I am learning...

May the light that is in your life always find a way to overpower the darkness. May there always be someone who can help you to soar, midair, back into the light, when you feel as if you are just about to plunge, head on, into the darkness.

Amen.

The "Happy" Gene, and Saying Thank You

Angel daughter number four was born with what I would call, a joyful spirit.  She is the kind of child, or I should say, teenager now, who can walk into a room and make everybody smile. She exudes a kind of happiness that can only be described as genetic, because it is so natural and pure.  Yes, she is a teenager now, and yes, she does have her hormonal breakdowns and teenage alien fits that cause me to think, "Where has my sweet baby gone?"; but for the most part, she loves life.  Having a conversation with her is almost like speaking with an adult at times, because she is wise beyond her own years.  She appreciates being alive and her gratitude is contagious.  Even strangers find her very engaging.  She can brighten the dullest day with her smile.

This morning I was thinking about AD4, and contemplating what it is that I could learn from her.  This is something that I often do when it comes to the people who are in my life, but for some reason I was particularly zoned in on her this morning.  Maybe it is because I woke up with a lot of pain, and as I was scanning my body for particular points of tension, I needed something special to focus on.  Maybe it was because I was breathing my prayers into the Universe and something made me stop and contemplate AD4's approach to life.  Whatever it was, I came up with some things that I wanted to share.

We are all here for a purpose.  Regardless of someone's belief system, there is no denying that the gifts that we are given should be shared freely with others, because if they are not shared they are wasted.  Everyone, absolutely everyone who is, or ever has, breathed in life from this planet, has something important to contribute to the world.  There are times when we might feel like we want to isolate ourselves from others.  We all have those days in our lives when we feel like hiding under the covers and never coming out, and that is okay.  But we must always try to remind ourselves that no purposeful, joyous, fulfilled life can be lived aside from other people.  We must balance our need for solitude, with our need to be around others.  We must enjoy our unique abilities, while using those abilities to teach others that which we inherently understand.

As I thought about my daughter's happy spirit, I also began to think about other people who I know that are not quite as jubilant, and what it might take in order to cultivate a more joyous attitude.  Angel daughter four really appreciates life.  She is gracious and thankful much of the time.  So, I decided to isolate the gratitude trait, to see where that would lead.  This is what I came up with.

In order to be happier in our lives, I think it is very important to cultivate gratitude. Sometimes, I tend to take things for granted and I forget to be grateful.  So, I decided to do an exercise that I heard about someplace.  Tomorrow, I am going to say,"Thank you", each time something happens that makes me happy.  It could be something as simple as having another driver allow me to safely make a lane-change, or being able to open up my fully stocked refrigerator when I am hungry.  Things that I really do appreciate, but often take for granted.  

The next day, I am going to say, "Thank you", each time that something does not exactly go the way that I would like for it to.  Maybe not getting out of my house on time to make an appointment, or having somebody cut me off, causing me to miss a green light, and making me wait for another light cycle.  All of the little mishaps, and annoyances that occur each and every day.  You know, the ones that seem to effect our moods the most.  The ones that make us "perceive" that we are having a bad day.

I am going to continue this exercise for the next few days, gently reminding myself to show more gratitude for all of the events that happen throughout my days.  I am not exactly sure where all of this focus will take me.  I do know that when I expect a certain result when doing something, I often come up with something that was completely different from what I had expected.  I am going to write down my observations at the end of each day.  After I complete this exercise, I will write about the things that I learned here.  I would really enjoy hearing from anyone else who would also like to take this challenge along with me.  I would love it if you would share your experiences after doing this for a few days with me.  No pressure at all!

This is the time of the year when we are all feeling a bit more frazzled.  Our To-Do lists are longer than ever, and all of the crazies have been let out of their homes for the month.  Maybe doing an exercise like this one will turn out to be a gift that you can not only share with others, but something that you can give to yourself...something that will bring more joy into your life.

As I look at the picture of my Angel daughter number four, and our adorable Cornish Rex kitty, Callie, my heart swells with the joy of knowing that they both make the world a happier place. Even if we are not born with the "happy gene", I do think that it is something that we can cultivate over time.  There are so many things to be grateful for in our lives.  Sometimes, we just have to take a little time to remind ourselves to stop and notice all that is good.

Please remember to stop back, and let me know how this works out for you.  And may you always find SOMETHING to smile about, even on the hardest of days.

Skipping Right Past Gratitude

As I walked through our local shopping mall, yesterday, I began to feel an undeniable compulsion to head for the exit. I had not been to the mall for a while, nor had I left my home for several days, and so I thought that a bit of "retail therapy" might be good for me. As I began meandering through the shops, I noticed that my body was becoming increasingly more and more tense. I was not relaxing into a "browsing" mood, nor was I enjoying my time away from home. I could not quite pinpoint where this feeling was resonating from. Then I heard it...a gangly young man with a child who was about six years old sitting upon his shoulders, was YELLING, not singing but outright YELLING the song Jingle Bells at the top of his lungs. The girl who was perched high upon his shoulders was taking the lead from her adult counterpart, and at the appropriate moments, she too would yell, "HEY!". Their voices echoed throughout the mall and as I looked around to see how other shoppers were responding, I could tell that people were outrightly trying to ignore their little performance. It was not cute or touching. It was downright obnoxious, and this young man did not care. He went right on singing, as if everyone there had been waiting for his arrival. It was then that I looked around, and noticed all of the Christmas decorations that had already been carefully hung. Like the voices of this young man and his little partner, the fake Christmas greenery and shiny red and green balls, screamed loudly and echoed throughout the mall. It was a rueful display of "too much, too soon". I quickly purchased the things that I had gone to the mall for, and then hightailed it to my car. The hum of people's voices rang inside of my head, asking, "Why are there Christmas decorations covering every inch of the mall, and it is only November 8?" I sat in the quiet solitude of my car for quite some time, trying to figure out what the heck was going on, when a moment of clarity struck me. Somehow, some way, we were skipping right past gratitude, allowing the retailers, who make very little money off of Thanksgiving, to dictate that it was now time to start singing Jingle Bells. My heart sank to a new low.

Gratitude is something that should be celebrated for more than one, short day in November. There are studies that show that grateful individuals are more likely to maintain friendships and family connections. Those same studies show that it is psychologically impossible to be both stressed and thankful at the same time. Think about how wonderful it feels to be grateful. Think about what it feels like when someone shows their gratitude for you. Why then, is a holiday that is so important to our psychological well-being being skimmed over? I truly believe that Thanksgiving should not be a holiday that happens to be crammed in between Halloween and Christmas. It should be honored and respected because gratitude is something that we all believe in. Regardless of religious beliefs, Thanksgiving is a holiday that is celebrated by individuals of all faiths, in our country, and therefore deserves more than a momentary glance. November should be a month that is dedicated to counting our blessings, and not a month that should be filled with thoughts of what gifts we are going to give or receive in December.

And so, yesterday, I made a little promise to myself. In the name of sanity and out of respect for all of the people whom I have enormous amounts of gratitude for, in my own life, I will be staying as clear of shopping malls, and people yelling "Jingle Bells", as I possibly can in the next couple of months. As a matter of fact, I will do much of my holiday shopping online this year. I will take more time to love on all of the people who are important in my life. I will make sure that Thanksgiving, at our home, is given top billing throughout the month of November, and I will remind my daughter's to be thankful.

May you have much to be grateful for, and many who are grateful for you.