Reconnect, Repair, Renew

Rosh Hashanah literally means "the head of the year".  In Jewish tradition, Rosh Hashanah marks the completion of the creation of the world and is looked upon as a time to begin anew, to forgive and to be forgiven.  It is now 5773 according to the Jewish calendar which follows the lunar calendar(our regular calendar follows the solar cycle) and even if you do not believe that the world has only existed for 5773 years, this is a time for great self-evaluation and contemplation.  It is a time of gratitude for God and a time of deep introspection and study.  It is a time for celebration and a time to ask for forgiveness(from God, from ourselves, from others).  It is a time of prayer and a time of Tzedakah(charity).  It is the time when it is said that God opens up the book of life in order to determine who shall live and who shall die. It is a time when we are expected to repent, to return to God, and to return to our highest selves.  It is a time for second chances(or third, or fourth, or even ninety-ninth) as long as we take responsibility for our own actions.  It is not a time for feeling guilty about our past indiscretions but rather a time to right our own wrongs.  And as daunting as all of this might seem, it is really a gift because when done correctly, the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur(the ten days known as "The days of Awe") may not only be spiritually cleansing but also emotionally healing for ourselves and for others, as well.

As I sit here contemplating the year that has been, the "me" that has been, the "we" that has been over the course of the past year, it feels a little bit odd if not somewhat mis-placed because this Rosh Hashanah somehow snuck up on me.  I can definitely blame this on so many things.  The fact that I turned 50 this past summer, the fact that our youngest Angel Daughter turned eighteen and graduated from high school, that our oldest turned twenty-five, the fact that our devoted and beloved rabbi(our rabbi for well-over twenty plus years) passed away, the fact that it has been unusually and repressively hot and humid for the past two months making it feel as if no time has passed at all.  And yet, here it is.  Here I am.

As I watched a train passing below our home on the tracks that skirt the shoreline of the coast on the evening of the first day of the new year, I thought about how quickly things, life-cycle events, days, weeks, years can pass before we even realize that they are upon us.

There are times when we do not even feel the changes as they happen, and then suddenly, here they are, right in front of our eyes as if they magically appeared out of nowhere, blazingly obvious in both sight and sound but leaving us feeling somewhat dumbfounded by their unexpected arrival.

And yet, we knew that they were coming.  Barrelling down the tracks like a well-timed train, slowing down for nothing.

As I consider the things that I must do in order to become a better person, I intend on using the next week or so to look within and to dig as deeply as my courage will allow in order to come to terms with the things that will make me a finer human being.  What can I do to make the lives of those who I love and care about just a little bit better each day?  Are my actions aligned with my core values on a daily basis?  Are there things that I could work on in order to become a more productive and positive individual?  It is said that on Rosh Hashanah, the world goes back to the moment of creation and begins anew.  I like to believe that we all have that chance, too.

May I take this moment to ask for forgiveness of anyone whom I may have hurt overtly or unintentionally over the course of this past year.  May I find forgiveness in my heart for those who have hurt me, either intentionally or without knowing, and may I find a way to leave any hurt behind.  May I do better, be kinder and love harder than I ever have before.  May I always remember to show gratitude for God and for all of the wonderful people that He has so graciously surrounded me with.

L'shanah tovah to everyone.  Happy new year.  May God inscribe and seal you and all of the people who you love in The Book of Life for another good and sweet year.  And may it be a good one for all of you...From my lips to God's ears.

Suspension and The Days of Awe

This photo was taken on Monday.

It is a sensation much like what it must feel like to be floating, these days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.  It is a strange feeling and yet, not totally unexpected.  It is a feeling of being suspended in time.  It is the sensation of waiting, expectantly, for things to pass and although I do not really believe that God has an enormous book in the sky in which he actually transcribes names for another year, metaphorically, the idea strikes me in my soul.  On Rosh Hashanah, the rabbi spoke of The Book of Life.  He spoke of the three "lists" which it is said that God keeps, one for the righteous whose names are automatically transcribed into The Book for another year.  These are the ones who have done only good without any transgression, the very few and far between.  I imagine this list to be quite short in my mind's eye.  The second list is for the wicked.  This list consists of individuals who have done so much harm to their fellow man that they are immediately removed from The Book of Life.  This is the list that I do wish existed.  The third book is for the intermediate.  This is where I know that I belong.  This is the list that contains the names of those of us who try to live our lives in good and honest ways but who do, inadvertently, sometimes miss the mark.  This is the list which contains the names of those of us who are doing our best to learn, to grow and to improve, year after year and, by God's will, will be inscribed into The Book for another year. This is the list of suspension in time.  During the days in between Rosh Hashanah(The New Year) and Yom Kippur(The Day of Atonement), it is our responsibility to evaluate our own behavior, to make amends with anyone we have hurt and to ask for forgiveness from others and from God.  These are days of repentance and prayer.  On Saturday, Jewish people all over the world will observe Yom Kippur.  This is the holiest day of the year for us.  It is the day when it is said that we are closest to God and to the quintessence of our own souls.  This is the day on which we pray that God will accept our prayers for forgiveness and inscribe us in The Book of Life for another year.  This is the day that we admit out loud and to ourselves that we are less than perfect but that we will try harder in the year to come.  And although Yom Kippur is a very somber day, it is also sufficed with joy because it is the day that we come together as a community to pray for God's forgiveness.  Even Jews who do not typically practice or attend synagogue will attend on Yom Kippur.  Why not hedge your bets?

The week down here in beautiful San Clemente, CA began with a mixture of sunshine and clouds.  

This photo was taken on Tuesday.

But slowly, the skies became darker and the clouds became heavier until something very unusual happened.

This photo was taken yesterday.

We got a significant October rain storm.  Now for those of you that live in other parts of the country and even other parts of the world, rain is not an unusual event, but for us, it just does not rain in Southern California as the song says.  This unexpected storm added to my feeling of being suspended in time.  It gave me time to think and to pray and to read meaningful literature.  It gave me time to consider and after it was over, I felt another sensation...The sensation of being cleansed.

May I take this opportunity to ask forgiveness of anyone whom I may have hurt over the course of the past year.  May I find forgiveness in my heart for those who have hurt me, either intentionally or inadvertently, and may I find a way to leave this hurt behind.  But most of all, may God inscribe you, your family members and friends into The Book of Life for another good year.  All of you.

Amen.

With many blessings and so much love,
Debbie-Four Angels Momma